Cara Dee's Boring Adventures

A Good Used Car Salesman

2010-12-20T11:48:00.002-07:00

That's how I refer to my husband. Or at least, I will when this sells.

EDITED TO ADD: SOLD in 2 hours.

Something I Like to Refer to as "Dubya T"

2010-12-20T10:23:00.003-07:00

That's White Trash for all you normal speakers out there. My sister posted some pictures on her blog from our move from New Hampshire to Utah. My Dad took all 5 of us kids across the country in this. We didn't die.

"Uh Oh!"

2010-04-12T19:08:00.002-06:00

Tilda turned one on the 7th. Her first words were "dada" and "mama" months ago. Last week it's been "baby" all the time. Here's the newest. She can't stop. And I don't want her to.

Best Use of My Time in Months

2009-10-27T10:07:00.001-06:00

Happy Halloween!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Last Chance for August

2009-08-31T20:57:00.005-06:00

My goal after Matilda was born was to post at least once each month. It's a lofty goal, I know. I just realized what today is, so I'm making it short.

Cameron started 3rd grade last week. He has 2 great teachers that split the day. They are great so far. Brandon gave him a ride to school, so he thought he should be in the picture too I guess.

Nice pose!

The real pose.

Um, Brandon wears a backpack to work each day as well. Really.

Anyway, it's weird to have a 3rd grade son. I think "Oh geez! I remember SOOO much from 3rd grade!" so I'm nervous about what I'm doing that he will remember clearly.

Heaven help me!

Putting Her to Work

2009-07-06T11:29:00.007-06:00

You can never start too early with giving a child chores.
Tilda is helping me do laundry today.
"Can I sort??" she asks.

She loves sorting.
After, she decided to beat her brothers at some XBOX game.

On this Episode of Matilda's Memoirs...

2009-06-29T09:38:00.005-06:00

It's only a minute long, hang in there.

Apparently he had sent me for a new bib.

Finally

2009-05-27T09:13:00.010-06:00

The mystery that is Eamon is solved. Apparently, his true mother is my Sister Mary.

Now if only we knew who his father* was...*not that any of the other men pictured above are in the running besides Brandon

How To Tell It's Time to Buy Your Husband New Deoderant

2009-05-13T09:13:00.003-06:00

When you catch him using yours. It's an ongoing problem.

Years Since Our First Date = 10

2009-05-12T12:11:00.005-06:00

May 8th is our First Date Anniversary. Let me regale you with the tale.

When I was 19, I worked at the Gap. One fine day in May, I was working in the dressing room. Brandon stopped in after work to pick up some khakis. They were very popular that year. He was in the dressing room and decided he wanted to come talk to me, so he walked up and said, "How much will these pants shrink?"

"Why, 1/4 to 1/2 inch," was my standard reply. Somehow we kept talking and talking and talking. I chalk up this jovial mood of mine to it being 15 minutes from quittin' time. He followed me around while I put clothes away and everything. Finally, 7pm hit and I asked him for his phone number so I could go home. A couple days later, when he had given up hope of me ever calling, I did. When I called, I was in a dressing room of my own, telling him I'd call him later that evening. Later that evening, he was IN THE BATH at his Grandma's house. Little did I know how this would affect our lives. Anyhoo...We made plans to go out that weekend.

He came and picked me up at my Dad's apartment. He thought, given the state of mess there, that I was white trash. I'm sure my skanky outfit didn't help. Silly B. As we drove to our destination (a rave), I asked him what kind of music he liked.
"Techno," was his response.
"Oh, anything else?"
"Pretty much techno," he said. ha. And it was that annoying techno that is really repetitive and obnoxious...

So we were at the rave dancing and he goes off somewhere. He comes back, opens his hand and has 2 pills in his hand. "You want one?" he generously asks. "Um, no thanks." So then later on, about 4 am, we head over to Dee's Restaurant (like a Denny's) for some post-rave food. There was a bloody man on an ambulance gurney in the lobby. We pressed on. Our favorite trans-gendered host(ess) Robin sat us. Then Brandon announces, "Oh, I spent all my money on those pills." So I had to pay for my own toast or whatever I got. (This is sounding very sadddddd.) After the food, he took me up to the hill above the Capitol Building to enjoy the view. After some talking, we were sitting there a little awkwardly and I moved in my seat. Oooops, I made a small toot. After a pause (cause I'm sure he heard it) I quietly said, "Excuse me..." "Why?" (he hadn't heard) "Um, I farted a little." (And this is the reason I tell him to get off my case now, because he had full disclosure as to what I'm all about that day) It was embarrassing. Somehow, SOMEHOW, we segued back into the date and started kissing. I knew he was a really great guy because of his kisses. Hard to elaborate. I could just tell.

After a little making out, I had to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD. We raced towards home...but made a quick stop at the Harmon's nearby. We both RAN to our respective bathrooms. It was hilarious. Anyway, it sounds wierd and dumb and illegal and gross, but our first date was memorable. And it fits us.

The first anniversary, we went back. There was the dead body of someone who had been hit by a car half a block away. But Robin was there. The next time we went, Brandon's chicken was undercooked. Gross. We haven't made it every year, but this year was special. I told him we were spending the evening with the kids at Ange's house. We got halfway there and I told him I needed a Slurpee. Ange secretly met me there and took the boys. I said, "Did you like my super devious planning?" He said he didn't understand why it was all super secret to have her babysit. Aha! He still didn't remember what the day was. So I put some techno on his iPhone and then he figured it out. There was no undercooked food, and no blood and gore. No drugs, no skanky outfits and no Robin :(. But there was a baby girl, and it was great.

I don't know if you would go out with me again, but you know I would go out with you. Happy 1st Date Anniversary Babyheart! I love you.

Cara Dee's far from Boring Adventure.

2009-04-07T18:39:00.005-06:00

Many of you tuned in to facebook for the 3rd and final installment of "The Hansen's Have a Baby" yet most of you have not seen the fruits of our labor....er, Cara's Labor, so here I am. Cara, much to my surprise, didn't want to blog right now and put me in charge.

The delivery was the fastest of all our children......about ~~5 good pushes~~ 4 contractions worth of pushing and she was out. Prior to the pushing Cara jumped from a 4 to a 9.5 in 1 hour (for those that know what that means) leaving a few of us very little time to get back from lunch and shopping. Matilda Pearl Hansen was born at 3:35 tuesday afternoon, weighed 8lbs 7oz, and was 21 inches long. She is perfectly healthy and has most of her parts (there seems to be a few less than the boys had). Well, here she is.........

Brandon, the Car Model

2009-04-06T16:47:00.008-06:00

Lookie what Brandon found on a website and sent me today...

Ha ha! This is almost exactly 6 years ago. That is his Bug, his pride and joy. He fully restored the whole thing, much to my chagrin, because I am a shrew. It's a '63 Ragtop Beetle. Yay. May it live forever in internet glory. Here's the website it was on and you can see the shell it started as. Scroll down to the 2nd and 3rd pictures.

Here's Cam, trying to sneak a ride.

Oh, and by this time tomorrow, I'll have something to show for the stretched out belly. Yay!

It's a Lie

2009-04-02T09:52:00.002-06:00

I got this fortune in a cookie a week ago. Gave me false hope.

And now a word from our sponsors...

2009-03-19T15:30:00.010-06:00

CONTEST OVER!!

I should have just stopped it as soon as Brandi commented within the first hour, but just for fun, I kept it going. Blah. Ange came in a VERY close second.

The place was in front of the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas (we were watching the Bellagio Fountains) on Feb. 16th. Way to use your amazing knowledge of my travels and the hang-out that never happened (she was out of town when I was in town). Keep an eye on her blog to see what dandy picture she posts and where the Travelling T-Shirt ends up next!

Not really, but there is something I've been meaning to get off my chest...

This shirt. Hardy har har.

I received the Travelling T-shirt in *cough cough -December- cough cough* from Jen at The McMommy Chronicles. Apparently, it was random, but being that she does know a little about me, it would have been entirely fair to all involved for her to have "randomly" picked the next person down the list. Having harassed me sufficiently, I finally thought I would take care of this little task once and for all. Um, awhile ago. I forgot that I would have to actually upload a photo and write about it. Anyhoo...I'll tell you a bit about it.

The Travelling T-Shirt has come from Lightening Online and is making its way around the world until December 1st when one lucky participant will be voted a winner and Lightening will gift that person a cash amount (determined by the total number of participants). For more information please visit the Travelling T-Shirt page.

Last December, the winner turned out to be this so-called friend of mine mentioned above. Oooweeee! Lucky lady! This year, it will be me! (or it could be, if my name isn't mysteriously taken out of the running by a mad blogger for me being so slow.)

So I will send this fabulous shirt to the first person to comment with WHERE the photo was taken and WHEN. The WHEN is the hard part. But the closest guess wins! Good luck!

Cara's Big Fat Baby Shower!

2009-03-10T16:42:00.003-06:00

Hello all, no this isn't Cara it's me, Mary, Cara Dee's favorite sister hijacking her blog. I know you're disappointed that you can't read another one of Cara's quirky blog posts, but hey, she's big and prego and lazy so I'll try to fill her cute little shoes today! As many of you know our lovely step-sister, Kris, and I threw Cara a baby shower on Saturday. But don't think I forgot about the others of you that helped out at the shower and with the food: thank you Mom for the delicious fruit, thanks to Melissa for bringing the vegetable tray, thank you Kris for the amazing baked Brie Cara was in heaven, thanks Ally for being Vanna White and displaying and helping out with the gifts, and thank you Jamison for keeping the children upstairs and entertained you guys are great!

It was so sweet of you all to come and support Cara and to spoil her with such cute gifts for her upcoming girl child. I'm posting pictures from the shower, but please don't be offended if I missed some of you and your darling gifts as I wasn't the most diligent. Cara is so very grateful to you all for your generosity, creativity, talents, and hard work. Okay, okay I'm getting sappy now and I know Cara will not appreciate it. So sit back and enjoy all the pictures especially the ones of Cara's big 'ol belly doesn't she look ridiculously cute?!!

Ang and Kathy

Ally and Kris

Cara digging into the fabulous Brie

Kris and Abby

The gorgeous blessing dress Cara's mother-in-law Kerri made

Do you see the baby in a basket?

Crocheted booties made by Mom

Thanks Ally ; )

This present was left on her doorstep that week accompanied by a poem:

"Hello Cara Dee, how have you been?
Surprised to hear from us again?

It's been awhile since we last talked
It appears you are expecting, I must say I'm shocked!

Your loving husband must have given up on his baths
Did he do this on his own, or because of your wrath?

We saw Horton at the store, so cute and so pink
Perfect for wrapping your little one, and her diapers which will stink

We wish you the best with your bundle of joy
And since this is pink, we're glad she's not a boy!"

(If you don't know the history of Horton read about it HERE & HERE)

Afghans Aunt Karen made

Nixon, Lily & Abby

Pearl with Pearl kissing Chowder!

Our cousin Staci and her beautiful daughters Mikayla and Brooklyn

Pearl with Ellie and Ella

Cara is thinking "Why is Emalia touching my belly?!" ha

Our Step-Mother Henny

Brooks helping open her gift to the baby

Newlywed Bri

Laurie and Katie

Adriene, Mom, Mary, Kris, Cara

"Look at me!"

Cara's haul...."thank you thank you!"

I Get to Be Lazy AGAIN!!!

2009-02-13T13:03:00.002-07:00

My Sister posted about our trip to the temple last night.

I am 8 months prego dearest...8. Also, I left my camera there, so now I have an extra jaunt to retrieve it before our trip today...blah.

I love the picture of us all, giddy from the ice cream we just ate.

Not Really Octuplets. Don't Be Disappointed.

2009-02-10T21:38:00.008-07:00

My Mom emailed me the other day saying she had seen my little widget with the Octuplets and had I heard about the lady in California who had octuplets? I hadn't, but I have now. Good Golly that poor lady is crizazy. 8 NEWBORNS! Plus 6 OTHER KIDS?? ALL AT ONCE!!!!

Here's some requested pictures. I promise, someone requested some. I will not say who(m?).

And the stairs are an ongoing project. Brandon gutted the ugly space under the stairs. It housed the previous owner's VHS collection...ha. Here's a "before" photo. And no, we have no railing. Haven't had one in 2 years and I'm the only one who's fallen down them. One day....{wistful glance in the air}

We have used it as a computer desk and a junk holder covered with curtains. After he ripped out the stuff under there, he built a wall and put a door on the existing closet next to it. Yay. It looks great now, but will be better when finished. Honey?? Then we'll have an "after" photo.

An Answer to Our Prayers

2009-01-23T09:27:00.003-07:00

It has come to my attention that some of you poor saps don't know what we're having!!??
Well I'm super duper sorry. But this is the bedding I just ordered. I'm really excited about it. We're painting the wall behind the crib pink (not quite as dark) and seeing what we can do about replicating a felt bird mobile from the ceiling, along with some sort of tree branch behind the bed with chipboard birdies to sit on it. This is all mucho exciting for me.

And if you're really slow...It's a girl!!

Thanks Ange!!

2009-01-13T15:47:00.003-07:00

Since we used your camera, I don't have to do a full post of my own!

Here is Ange's post today about our girls night out last night.

I, for one, LOVED LOVED LOVED Slumdog Millionaire. All of it. That is my favorite kind of movie. And my 3rd Indian movie this year. They are some of the best. I recommend The Namesake and Outsourced as well.

The new "Air Blade" hand dryer was just too tempting. I almost manufactured pee just so I could wash my hands twice that night, but being that I'm pregnant, I didn't have to...

CLEAR!! (zap!)

2009-01-04T18:31:00.008-07:00

New Year's Eve, Brandon started coming down with my flu and started his afternoon with a nap. He then went upstairs to throw up about 3pm. Immediately following, his heart went into A-Fib (atrial fibrillation). He called down to me in the kitchen, asking me if I could come upstairs. I told him I couldn't, because I was melting chocolate on the stove for a treat for that night's festivities. A few minutes later, he called down again, same voice, same thing. I told him I really couldn't, but if he'd give me a couple minutes, I'd be done and would come up. (I figured he was working on the bathroom and needed help holding something up or measuring something.)

I went up there and he was lying on a blanket of towels sweating. He said he wanted me up there so in case he passed out, we would know. He was nervous, so he had me call his Mom for advice. He took a little bath, and a little later I told him we should go to the Instacare down the street. When we got there, we decided that it would be best to go straight to the ER in American Fork. It only took a few minutes to be admitted luckily. In the exam room, his heart rate shot up to 150 bpm. (which means that the top part was beating at about 300) They gave him a drug twice to slow his heart rate (which marginally worked) and then one to regulate it. It didn't kick out of it, so they decided to ambulance him over to Utah Valley hospital to be seen by their cardiologists. (I'm assuming that because it was New Year's Eve and theirs was gone?)

I drove to meet him there about 7:30pm and used that time to call our family and update. When I got to the ER, the front desk guy said he wasn't there yet. I checked the time and finally called the other ER to find out when they had left. They said he should have been there by now, but he might not be in the ER. I again asked the desk guy to check. He still didn't see Brandon's name anywhere, so he went into the ER to ask the people inside. The retard comes back out and proceeds to tell me that he's not there, but that he would probably be heading to the OR when he did. I freaked out a little and said, "I'm sorry, the OR????" He was like, "Well, maybe later?" He made me walk back out to the parking lot to get to the front of the hospital to find Brandon. So I'm upset, and trying to hurry through the parking lot, prego belly contracting....I was so mad. I ask the lady in Admitting about it. She's like, "He's not here yet, but when he is, this is his room number." I knew he should have been there by then and what the crap??? Anyway, my Mom and Step-Dad showed up just then, followed shortly by my brother. We talked for a minute and then decided to go up to Brandon's room and wait. Brandon was there the WHOLE TIME. BLAH.

My brother Paul and Step-Dad Larry gave Brandon a blessing and a few minutes later the doctor came in and explained what was going on to us. They decided to try and do some tests to find the cause rather than just shock him right then. He was given more of the same drugs throughout the night to try and kick it back into rhythm by itself, but they didn't work. (I had a couch in his room to sleep on, sheets and all, but there is no sleeping on that.) At 5 am they decided to just shock him. It was interesting. They gave him a fast-acting and fast-leaving sedative and proceeded with the defibrillator. I was in the room, but didn't watch. As soon as he was out, they shocked him and it worked to put him back into normal rhythm immediately. He was back awake about 1 minute later. After sitting around ALL DAY, someone finally came in about 3:45pm to do a heart ultrasound, then made us wait for a doctor to view the results. Apparently, there wasn't much to talk about, cause he never saw another doctor that day. He was finally discharged at 7pm by a kind nurse. Anyway, he feels fine and has felt fine since he was shocked. Yay Brandon.

Here he is getting hooked up with some of the 30 million wires he ended up with.

Here is a fun one I took of Seth and Brandon just before midnight. We had to make our own fun.

And just to prove I was there...those are my feet.

Here he is getting the chest ultrasound. It was really interesting, but since I hadn't slept well, I kept falling asleep against the wall.

And here he is, all perked up in the afternoon. Again, making our own fun.

Thanks for all the concern, he has a follow-up appt. next week and they put him on some medication. He is feeling fine, and is working on the house already. How was your New Year's??

Q & A with Cara

2008-12-24T10:51:00.003-07:00

Are these Christmas cards still sitting on my computer desk today? Yes.
Have I had them since December 3rd? Yes.
Are they all addressed and stamped? Yes.
Have I sent them? No. But I just might today....

I'm Clearing Away the Cobwebs For This

2008-12-22T10:30:00.004-07:00

Consider this your Christmas present!

See How Good You've Got It??

2008-11-05T14:42:00.018-07:00

Whenever we see someone's house that is some pig sty or see a news story about some nasty filthy house, I always say, "And you complain about our house..."

Or if he tells me about someone who has a lame, nagging wife, I say, "See how good you have it?"

Without fail, there will be some news story about a man chopping up his wife with an axe and he says, "See honey, I could be like that, see how good you have it?"

Brandon sent me an email with a link to a forum post about a nasty apartment and writes, "WOW.".

Here it is: (and it's a feast for the eyes. My personal favorite is the ironing board.)

"This has nothing to do with the Hurricane. We had a resident who had an outstanding balance for over a month and no one could get ahold of her. The Bookkeeper went inside after so many tries to leave a note and this is what we found:

The pictures do NO justice. There is suppose to be 2 cats living here but we cant find them (we think they're dead somewhere inside the apartment-we contacted the SPCA). The place REEKS to say the leaks, i gagged non stop."

The following is our email conversation afterwards:

Cara:
and you say our house is bad....ba duh dum!

Brandon:
(in cara voice) "at least it's not like that, you see how much worse it could be?"

Cara:
That's what I meant.

Brandon:
I know.

Brandon, You're So Vain....

2008-10-30T14:40:00.008-06:00

You probably think this post is about you,
You're so vaaaain....
You probably think this post is about you,
Don't you, don't you...

Brandon sent me a link to this article today via Instant Messenger. I laughed. Please take a gander...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3279653/Attractive-fathers-do-not-pass-their-looks-on-to-sons.html

What do you think?

I think the teeth are the spitting image of Bran.

I sent him this one back:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/3283462/Blondes-make-good-girlfriends-but-brunettes-are-better-wives.html

Will Someone Please Drive a Stake Through My Heart?

2008-10-03T21:51:00.005-06:00

I just finished the 4th book in the Twilight series. That is 2500+ pages of time I will never get back. Not to mention dreaming I had a vampire baby in me the other night. And when you're pregnant, it's not the nicest dream.

Did you know that there are people (cough* women *cough) that vacation to the real town in this FICTIONAL story? I'm dying over here. Like I said to a couple of my friends that are not fans either: "This is the most passionately I've hated anything in a LONG time". But I continued to read, because it is not my nature to give up on something so easily. I will watch a movie till the bitter end, because I have to give it a chance to redeem itself. Most of the time, that works for me. I'm just not one to shut a movie or close a book halfway through. I've invested the hour and a half, or in a book's case 5 or 6 hours, and I have to finish. I read the first book. I liked the idea of the couple, I HATED the girl. HATED HER. Never hated any character EVER as much as her. I thought, well, let's just see where this goes. Nothing happened in the 2nd book. There was another 5 or 6 hours wasted....3rd book? Stuff happens, but I just don't care. By then, there's no way I can stop. 4th book was totally different. Totally crazy. Sort of horror-filmish. Holy crap. But I did my time, and I finished them all. I'm embarrassed to say I did.

Arianne sent me a link to another woman's take on Twilight. It is hilarious. Unless you are a die hard fan, and then you will be mad....(Oh, and good luck finishing now Arianne...)

"Why I Think Twilight Sucks"

I full on expect this post to receive hate comments. I thoroughly don't care.

I Heart Ange

2008-09-26T08:33:00.001-06:00

Do you all know Ange? I've been friends with her since I was 17. That's 11 years folks. Anyway, when I found out I was pregnant, the ultrasound tech said I needed to take it easy for a little while. No vacuuming, no sweeping specifically. Brandon was there, and he said, "That should be no problem." And it was true. Ha.

As soon as she heard this news, (she was with me when I took the 3 pregnancy tests at Nordstrom) she told me she was heading over to my house to clean and bring me dinner. I was embarrassed at the state of things, so I had to help declutter and such, and maybe I overdid it a bit, cause here I am sitting on the couch exhausted. And here is Ange, posing with my broom after an afternoon of "Holy Cow Cara is Messy".

I told her to get a room. Anyway, please go over to Ange's blog and give her a high five for being such a great friend to yours truly. I would really appreciate it!

I'm Starting Early

2008-09-23T08:47:00.004-06:00

I was at Barnes & Noble the other day, browsing to my heart's content (I was childless). Okay, I was searching, searching, endlessly searching. I couldn't find the book I wanted, but I figured I could find it myself, so I wandered THE WHOLE store. In my travels, I came across these 2 helpful books. Please please please add these to your list of gifts for Cara for Christmas. You never know when they might come in handy.

You have started a gift list for me right?

Ear's to You, Kid

2008-09-15T14:25:00.005-06:00

Cameron came home from school looking like this. HOLY CRAP. (And Brandon thought his ears were big before)

He got a mosquito bite on it last night, and I guess he's my son in the swelling department. It is literally sticking straight out to the side.

Swollen Ear
Non-swollen ear.
Notice in the upper picture how much you of his head you can see behind his ear.

And lucky for me, Eamon just walked in from the backyard to declare loudly, "Mom!! I have to go poo!!" Will it ever end?

When Surfing the Internet Pays Off

2008-09-09T14:48:00.003-06:00

I have to celebrate my super find somewhere!!

Last night, I told Brandon that it would be fun to go to The Armstrong Mansion for our anniversary this year. We went there for our first. It was great. We stayed in the August Retreat room.

So this afternoon, I got an email promo from http://www.citydeals.com/ (which I am signed up for) and followed the link to their site. On the first page, I was scrolling down through the deals and found one for 50% off gift certificates to The Armstrong Mansion!!! Yippee! Guess who's spending the night there in November? I think we'll try a different room this time. Either February something or other, or June Bride. Soooo excited!

Confirming Jenny's Suspicions

2008-09-08T13:32:00.005-06:00

It says I wrote crap 6 times and hell once. Sue me. A couple months ago Jenny M. said my blog was rated PG-13 because Brandon said "testicle" in the unicycle video.... I told her it was the correct terminology for that part of his anatomy. And he didn't say balls, so I think it's fine. ha ha ha

What's yours rated??

Bad News aka "Pearl Doesn't Hear A Who"

2008-09-04T10:40:00.005-06:00

Pearl is DEAF. And here I was thinking she was just "slow". I had been suspecting something was up for awhile, so last night Bran looked it up and we're now sure that's what's going on. Poor poor little Pearl. You should see just how deeply she sleeps. Anyway, it is what it is. We're going to have to call a place that specializes in placing "special needs" dogs. Can anyone see us signing to our dog?? Me either. Poor poor little Pearl. At least now we understand her better.

Pearl "Retardation" Hansen

2008-08-30T15:16:00.013-06:00

I haven't thought of a better middle name yet, that's what I originally came up with since she's been a little behind the others since week one. She's coming out of it, but will still topple over once in a while when she's running too fast. She's the puppy we're keeping.

I haven't told the whole story, but when she was a few days old, I found out that she wasn't able to "suckle" right. She couldn't keep the suction. I bottle fed her for a day, then found out that she was the runt. Emma had rejected her with some growls and bites. She was my project for a whole week. I slept on the couch with her on the floor in a basket with a heating pad in it. I woke up to feed her. BLAH. Part of the time, she would throw up what she ate (which I was basically forcing her to eat). She was constipated on top of that. After a couple days of this we were basically just waiting for her to die. She got all scrawny and tired. It was VERY sad.

(Milk Mustache)

For a size comparison

She climbed up the front of my shirt and nestled her little self standing up in my ponytail.
One night, as a last resort, Brandon fashioned for Pearl a puppy enema. He administered it to her, and then we gave her a tiny tiny bit of Pepto Bismal. Can I just tell you IT WORKED!!! Poo was released, food stayed in!! It was a puppy miracle. She was voracious after that. And a few days after that, we tried to see what Emma would do back in the box with her and the others. She latched on and Emma got over her hatred. NO MORE BOTTLE FEEDINGS!! YAY!!

Here she's giving you a little wink after a bath....

This is my idea of the perfect present...

Naptime on Daddy

She is a little feisty freak and we LOVE her.
Oooo, maybe Pearl "Runt"atia??

Wait!! I've got it.....

Pearl Bailey Hansen. Just a tribute to an old Muppet sketch I love. And the name of the song is perfect.

I'll have to run it by Brandon. In the meantime, do you have any suggestions?? Or any ideas on where I could pick up an outfit that is as slendiforous as the one she's wearing??

ETA: Be sure to see the follow-up post for this HERE.

Random Tidbits....(Warning: not funny)

2008-08-22T08:26:00.004-06:00

Cam's first day of school was on Monday. He had a great day. The second day?? Not so much. "There was a lot of homework."

Brandon found a steal of a deal on a porch swing he had been eyeing all summer. He installed it yesterday, and it is NIIIIICE.
(Never you mind that Foosball table by the door.)

Yesterday was also Brandon's Grandma Charlene's 76th birthday. We went up to Ogden to go to Chili's with her and Grandpa. The phrase on this plaque only makes sense for her. She can never tell you a recipe..."I don't know, I just made it up," she'll say.

Here is the world's worst group photo of us after dinner. (Eamon needs smile lessons or something, he does this every time.)

And Brandon let the remaining puppies roam around the kitchen this morning. Here they are taking a much needed nap at my feet.

PART II: Horton Hears a Who the Crap Did This???

2008-08-15T10:30:00.009-06:00

If you weren't around for the original Horton prank post, click here...

Before I even made that post, I received 2 anonymous comments about it. Here they are:

Anonymous said...
I'm just curious if you've ever seen Horton Hears A Who... I hear it is really funny.That is all. June 30, 2008 2:32 PM

Anonymous said... Ok I must vent... we waste a perfectly good movie prop in hopes of making your blog, and it doesn't make your blog. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!Love, you know who.
July 9, 2008 11:54 PM

After I finally posted posted about it, I kept receiving anonymous harassment in the form of comments. Read through the comments to see them.
Are you done? Have you read them? Okay, I know you didn't, so here they are:
(And I've highlighted the culprit who threw me off with her comments of sympathy)

17 comments:

super lotto said... What a great moment of reading blogs.
July 10, 2008 12:05 PM

tim & brandi said... I was sitting here trying to figure out why your husbands car was on the lawn. I didn't think you guys were THAT ghetto. ;) Yeah, I'm retarded. ~b
July 10, 2008 2:15 PM

Omgirl said... Oh my gosh...the blog lives! Well, I know you had a moment of thinking it might have been us who did that, but I assure you, I have the worst poker face ever. I can never carry off pranks because I smile the second someone looks at me. But it was a good one! Where does Horton reside now?
July 10, 2008 7:50 PM

Kacy said... Okay that is hilarious! I saw that sitting on the side of your house one day and was like what the crap? Super funny!
July 10, 2008 11:27 PM

Chelle said... Lol, too funny!Happy POW!
July 11, 2008 1:05 PM

Carol said... Well that doesn't happen everyday!Hilarious.
July 12, 2008 9:41 AM

Cheeseboy said... I want one! I guess I need more enemies.
July 12, 2008 10:34 PM

The Tillotsons said... How are Emma's babies doing? That prank is hilarious!!
July 17, 2008 4:59 PM

Dr Seuss said...
Horton poster... FREE
Movie & Popcorn... $25
Framing D. Johnson for a prank... PRICELESS
Bwahahahahahah
July 21, 2008 10:38 PM

CaraDee said... WHO DID THIS????
July 22, 2008 10:51 AM

Dave & Amber said... Haha that is awesome! Seriously it wasn't Dave. I'd know cuz he can't keep a secret. Now I'm curious as to who really did this.
July 22, 2008 1:41 PM

emilymomto3boys said... DUDE! That is so funny! So where are you taking Horton now?? August 2, 2008 9:28 PM

Thing 1 & Thing 2 said...
Who left Horton? Who could it be?
Of course I know, because it was me!
Or should I say that it was us,
Why oh why now all the fuss?
Fear not though for another clue
Will soon be delivered to you.
It sure is puzzling though is it not,
Because the prankster is not who you thought.
August 5, 2008 2:28 PM

CaraDee said... I am gonna put a bounty on your heads.
Wanted Dead: Super Brats
Reward: $5.00
August 5, 2008 2:56 PM

Thing 1 and Thing 2 said...
A bounty offered of dollars FIVE?
Not enough, I guess we stay ALIVE.
Check your mail in a day or two
And you will have instructions on what to do.
This has been just so much fun!
Have a good day, love thing two and thing one.
August 6, 2008 11:41 AM

Kacy said... This is hilarious. I would be going nuts.
August 7, 2008 5:34 PM

D. Seuss said...
Tonight we went out on a walk
And on that walk we saw your block
We went here and there and everywhere
Horton has some pictures he'd love to share.
In other words... BLOG UPDATED. GO READ IT NOW!!!!!!!
Oh... and please enjoy our pictures.
August 8, 2008 11:13 PM

Wow huh?? Someone I know is a superfreak! So here's how it went down.....
After the comment about the mail, I received a large envelope. It was return addressed from the Johnsons, who had been framed originally for Horton.

Upon opening it, a puzzle and paper came out.

With a poem...

Almost done...

Finished!

And on the back, a clue...Let's go there shall we??

This was the first post....CLICK HERE. With the help of a couple of neighbors, we deduced the culprit. When I saw her that night at a ward pool party, she was acting weird, but wouldn't admit it. What could I do??? So I got home about 10pm, and saw that there was a new comment (the last one above). When I checked the blog they created, I found this CLICK HERE.

So those are pictures of them taken in front of houses all around us, including our house, the Johnsons, and various others in our ward. FREAKS. We almost thought it wasn't who we suspected, since we had seen them swimming while we were. Anyway, with a little bit of comparing pictures from her blog and some detective work from Amber, who found this picture on her husband's myspace page, which had this picture on it,

we knew the nerds had to be..... THE DANG PLOTTS!!!!

Now please take a moment to congratulate them on having too much time on their hands. Way to go...

Have You Been Vaccinated?

2008-08-02T11:20:00.006-06:00

Cameron came in and asked me if he could pretend that Eamon had the chicken pox and he was the doctor. I said, "Sure".

This is what came downstairs a few minutes later. DANG

Flashback Friday

2008-08-01T12:41:00.007-06:00

(Look, this isn't going to be an ongoing thing. I can barely keep up with life right now.)

So I remembered something funny Brandon made for me years and years ago, while we were dating and went looking for it. I couldn't find it yet, but I did find these gems.... (you can click on each picture to see it larger if needed.)

I had to write this short bio as a new employee when I worked with Brandon at Mrs. Fields. Carolyn and Glorianna were my managers.

Remember this? Well, here's an earlier B doing the same thing on a lunch break with me.

Oh joy, here's our wedding announcement...

This special card was my Mother's Day card from Brandon a few years ago. Care to translate?
I especially loved the heartfelt note at the bottom....

And on my birthday probably 4 years ago, I got home from work that night to find a couple birthday cards on the stove for me. One from a neighbor, one from my Mom, and this mysterious envelope from Jamaica...It looked like Brandon's Mom's handwriting, and she had been to Jamaica years earlier. What a mystery.

Here is the ugly cardfront Here is the fabulous inside. I died laughing....

That's when Jude Law was my "boyfriend". I have had so many through the years. Oh I love Brandon. The back of the card had a little thingy at the bottom that said, "I'll never forget our first night"

Well I'll Be....!

2008-07-12T10:35:00.003-06:00

Thanks Jimae for this...

As a 1930s wife, I am
Poor

Take the test!

I think if it was a quiz on being a great 2008 housewife, I would excel. Right, Brandon? Right?

Misty Water-colored Memories....Of the Way We Were

2008-07-11T15:18:00.006-06:00

Stolen (or tagged I guess) from Dayna's blog.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

P.S. On a side note, I started watching The Way We Were the other night. But I was pooped and had to stop it about 10 minutes in. You gotta love the intro song.

Horton Hears a Who the Crap Did This???

2008-07-10T11:47:00.006-06:00

A few weeks ago (and I am prodded into telling this story now by 2 comments from "anonymous" on the puppy post, who I think is our neighbor across the street) Brandon peeked through the blinds of the front window because he saw some lights or something. He's like, "What the crap is that?" Can you see the dark mass blocking his precious car on our lawn?

He tells me to go outside and see what it is. I was already asleep on the couch, so this is asking a lot from me. I wrap a throw around me and head on out. I just stood on the porch and stared. And stared. And looked around the neighborhood. And stared. And then chuckled.

Congratulations pranker. It was a good one. Do you like the empty popcorn bucket and popcorn strewn in front for effect? I like that they had to hoist Brandon's grind box (skateboard thingy) from the curb, and move a large rock from the "weed/garden" area by the mailbox to prop it up. And that thing is HEAVY. Also, Horton had been duct-taped to sticks to help it stand up. A lot of work. And when I called them on it at church the next day, they totally denied it. It said right on the back in black marker "Please hold for D. Johnson." Nice denial Dave. Nice. But here, I'll post it for you to bask in the Prankster Glory.

I Don't Know Nothin' Bout Birthin' No Babies, Miss Scarlett

2008-06-27T13:44:00.008-06:00

But somehow they lived. I love the Internet.

Emma had 5 puppies last night!! It was a long process, but I LOVED it. Emma did really well and whelped those babies like a pro. She is now extra ferocious and will probably maim you before you are able to even look at them. She literally could tear my face off and not care. But the second you are able to get her away from them, she is Old Emma...meaning she will only eat Eamon's face off. I have to distract her with a hand, which she will lunge at, and grab her by the scruff of the neck to separate them. It's risky....

Here are some gratuitous before and after shots of my lovely doggy.

Okay, here's what you really wanna see.... I've named the dogs ABC names, just to keep them in line, we'll change them later....

This is the first little guy. His name is Arthur. His birth was the most anticipated, as he was the first. He's a little smaller than the rest, but not by much. He looks probably the most like his dad. He is super cute and has a cute little white spot on the tip of his tail. Definitely a keeper.

This here gem of a puppy is Brenda. She had us worried when Emma bit her cord a little too short. When she finally ripped through it, it literally spurted out and I was freaked out. Brandon was going to tie it off, but it was basically the puppy belly button flesh and a little dangle of shredded cord at the end. I had to pinch it off with my gloves. Poor baby bled quite a bit. Before the styptic pen arrived, it had kinda sealed itself up and she was out of the woods. She is really feisty and was eager to eat during the ordeal, regardless of the hands surrounding her, keeping her alive.

This little cutey is Carl. He had a rather uneventful birth and we made sure the cord issue didn't happen again by having me reach up a little ways up into Emma to pull on the cord a bit to cut it ourselves. It was super strong. Since I wasn't able to pull the afterbirth out, I got a good grip, pulled a little and tore it enough that we could get him away and take care of him. He's a super healthy little guy that also looks like dad.

This little peach is Dana. (Look, I just came up with the first names I could think of that started with that letter, so get over it) Emma did a great job with her too, so we didn't have to much to worry about with her. She is so beautiful.

Our girthy boy came next. It took a full hour for little Edgar (aka Eamon Jr.) to come out. After the delivery and clean up of Dana, I had all 4 pups in a heated basket to keep their temps up. I sat with Emma waiting to see when she would start contractions again. They started up about 15-20 minutes after delivery, like all the others, but she acted unhappy, and actually left her whelping box to come sit on me. She let me feel her and the other puppy and try to manipulate it. She seemed worried. I also got worried after awhile. I decided to let the other puppies nurse to calm Emma down while I searched the Internet for answers. I was feeling nervous and wondering if I should take her to a vet. A few minutes later, I looked at her and little Edgar was already out except for his head.

He was kinda stuck there for a little bit and I knew Emma would kill me if I tried to help, so I watched and waited. Finally, he was out, but he had inhaled fluid. He was purple around the face and feet and I was scared. I worked on cleaning out his lungs (took forever it seemed) and then finally gave him to Emma. She cleaned him up, but he still was pretty cold, so I laid out the other puppies for her to see and when she left him behind, I put him in the warm basket. He finally was warm and I was relieved.

By the way, all the first 4 pups weighed 4 oz. I think Arthur is a hair smaller, but about the same. Edgar was 6 oz, therefore he is a giant compared to the other babies....
Here's a picture of the "dog pile" ha aha haaha hahha hahaah ahahaa
I put a clean rag in for your benefit....(not really, but I like to flatter) This photo has them looking downright angelic.
Oooo, I love my puppies!!

The Life and Times of Pregnant Emma

2008-06-27T11:56:00.003-06:00

Here's a few pictures of Emma over the last few days. The ones of her standing are from Sunday and she got MUCH bigger of the next few days. She kept hiding under our bed. The gap from the wood to the floor is really small, but somehow she would squeeze herself under it, regardless of the fact that she had a perfectly good whelping box...blah. I would have to call her and make her come out. I wasn't too keen on the idea of the birth liquids on my floor under my bed. It truly is a miracle that she could get out on Thursday when she did.

Drowning in the Hole?

2008-06-23T11:01:00.002-06:00

Me: (calling to Eamon in the bathroom) Eamon, are you going poo?

E: Yeah, and I can see the whole thing, and it's drowning in the hole, and I can see the whole thing. (-pause-) Okay, I'm done!

Good Times!!

2008-06-16T15:52:00.001-06:00

In case you didn't know (you didn't), I was on a Super Girls Trip to Las Vegas last Wednesday - Friday night. Of course, I haven't posted it, but Arianne, who is no slacker, has a superb recounting of our adventures together. Check it out! I might add my 2 cents later here. But she did a great job. It's chock full of laughter, tears, gas....And that was just me.

And everything she says about me, assume I was right..ha

Though I am not new to a hiatus from the blog (I take one every week....sorry) I will warn you about this one. I'm off to Girls Camp with the Young Women from our ward from Tues - Sat.

"Good times!" - Jerri Blank

Father's Day on a Unicycle

2008-06-16T10:08:00.004-06:00

On Father's Day, we could hear the kids going up and down the stairs, and little whispers, "Shhh, don't wake Daddy...C'mon! Hurry" A little while later, they came down with an envelope. There was a drawing of a snake by Eamon...

Another drawing by Cam (Bran doing a jump on his skateboard, a snake, and Bran working on his car)

And on the back this....

There was also about $1.50 in change in the envelope...So sweet.

As for Bran's gifts from me:

A few weeks ago, Brandon sent me the video below and was all "jazzed" about it. ha Through a friend, I saw this t-shirt based on the clip. It's from the old BMX movie "Rad". As an early Father's Day gift, I gave it to him last week so he could wear it on his boys' trip to Vegas. He loved it. Here's a clip of the scene from the shirt.... WATCH IT. So bad it's good.

He also got a book called Salt Lake City: Then and Now. It shows pictures of old buildings in Salt Lake taken when they were built, and what they look like now or what is in their place if they've been demolished. He got a vintage light meter, and at the same store, I found found this beauty.....

It's an old Sears & Roebuck unicycle. He replaced the tire and gave it a whirl. Hilarity ensues.... This video is like 3 1/2 min. long, but at least watch the first minute.

And to Papa Seth, we're so glad you're our Dad, and we could spend it with you... Happy Father's Day.

It's Official

2008-06-15T22:57:00.005-06:00

Remember the post where I was talking about getting my dog knocked up?

I felt them moving in there today. Next week (I'll be away all week for Girls Camp) we'll get an x-ray done to see how many puppies she'll have.

(Brandon is not holding her by the nape of her neck. She is standing and he's holding her up....We're not MEAN)

Can your husband do THIS with chopsticks?

2008-06-15T21:30:00.004-06:00

Didn't think so....

Johnny 5 Alive

2008-06-15T21:24:00.003-06:00

My kids watched Short Circuit the other day...."Disassemble!!" "Need more inpuuut..."

This is what they made with a couple of boxes and my kitchen shears.

Cam's had a 5 on the side, while Eamon opted for a 4.

Bizarro Us

2008-06-08T11:06:00.005-06:00

My sister was trying to look up our blog by typing it in opposite the way it is, and found this...

brandonandcara.blogspot.com/

It's Bizarro us!!! And they were in Turkey (where we were last year!!!) Wow!

Here's the proof...

And the Award for Most Improved goes to.....

2008-06-02T22:48:00.005-06:00

Brandon! Everybody clap!!!

I guess I should preface this with a story about the first time I called Brandon after we met. It was evening, and he was in the bathtub at his Grandma's. I can maybe imagine that she might have been giving his back a good scrub down, because a man taking a bath is very strange to me. Especially when he tells me he takes one every night. Every woman I know says that a bath is a luxury. We rarely get to take them. But Brandon is a man who takes his bathing seriously.
Anyway, he has always done this. Cameron and Eamon took 9 months to conceive. The last pregnancy only took 6, woo hoo... We didn't know why it took so long, but whatever.... So after I had a miscarriage a year and a half ago, my sister-in-law Sara told me that a hot bath was terrible on a man's fertility. I kind of suspected that already, but this was like the little push I needed to get serious about it. I told him he needed to stop taking his hot baths, and that maybe they were why it took us so long to get pregnant in the first place. Long story short, he would not. And yes, maybe a lot of it was him getting back at me for being a bad wife or housekeeper. Whatever...

But after many times of hearing him say, "Hey, we have 2 kids, it can't be me" or "How do you know it's not you?" and one LONG a$$ year going by, I finally had an exam by my OB-GYN. Brandon then agreed to have a semen analysis, as suggested by my doctor. Can I just tell you the results were DEPRESSING....
His fertility score of 6 was almost the lowest it could be.
25-30=normal, 16-24=moderate, less than 15=low.
So would 6=the lowest of the low?

Can I just tell you that Brandon stopped the baths that day!!?

The test suggested reasons, and one was a varicose vein of the testicle, sometimes incurred through trauma. Could Brandon think of a time when he had experienced trauma to the testicle? YES, at least a couple of occasions skating on rails actually. So here was our probable answer. Brandon isn't too keen on having a surgery to remove this vein, and I can't blame him. His doctor suggested laying off the hot baths for 3 months to rule that out as well, and maybe they were what was exacerbating the problem of the varicose vein. Do you follow? Do you want to follow? Sorry.

So like a good boy (and like most of the human race), Brandon has been taking showers all spring. Every time I hear the shower going, it's like a love letter written just for me.

Fast forward 3 months. I had written us off as a low-fertility couple. I was going to call my doctor to ask what the procedure is for artificial insemination and when could we get started. I had resigned myself. The nurse from his doctor's office calls today and I say, "Oh, you have the test back already? What does it say?"

"He's at a 30 fertility score, which is the highest it goes."

I wanted to ask her if Brandon's test had been switched with someone else's...I didn't. So I called Brandon and let him read the fax of the results before I said anything. He read it and was shocked as well. I said, "How do you feel?"

"Happy."

"And...." (I'm waiting for it)

"Excited," and I can hear the smile on his face.

"And....How else do you feel..." (still waiting)

"Um, proud....?"

"What about guilty?"

"Nope."

Almost conclusive medical proof of him being a selfish bas*&$# and he has nothing to say to me....About me being right all along. About how sorry he is for putting me through H-E-double hockey sticks for a year. About how I'm always right and how he wants nothing more than to apologize with flowers and back rubs and staying away from his car for one night. I'm still waiting...

I think I'm still not excited. I'm still in shock over all of this crap. It's crazy stuff.

(By the way, I received permission to post this)

Cara Haira

2008-05-31T00:32:00.003-06:00

Okeeee folks. I got a haircut. Like 2 weeks ago. Then, the following week, I colored my hair a more fun and VIBRANT mahogany something Feria color. It's okay indoors, but outside, BAM. It's reddish purple. It's great.

Anyway, the first picture is of a naturally dried freak mess of frizzy wave. Got that? I repeat...Freak mess of frizzy wave.
Next photo is the magical transformation of freaky to sleeky...or maybe it was just an out of focus shot. You decide.

Final 2 are the ferociousness of fabulousity. Yes, ferociousness of fabulosity. You heard right.

Oh baby. And special thanks go out to Adrienne who gave me the great cut. Also owner of the lambs we babysat. I'll get to that....

Nerdy Bird

2008-05-23T23:34:00.003-06:00

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I pretended to be sick so I could stay home from school. After a little while, I was bored, so I picked up a book. I read The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway. I didn't love it or anything, but by around 2:30 or so that day, I finished it. I felt like such an adult for reading it, if not a little nerdy for wasting my ditched day. (Though what can you do when you're staying home at 13 anyway?) I just remembered that and I thought I'd share with my Adventure-starved friends....

Don't worry, I'll get to the lambs soon enough....

This Really Ticks Me Off!!

2008-05-22T15:53:00.003-06:00

So in one day, we found 5 ticks on the neck of one of the lambs we were lambsitting.

5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5

We saved them all in ziplock baggies for some reason, maybe just to really drive it home. So that means that we have like an infestation of ticks on the side of our yard. NASTINESS! Never come to my house, or you might get a giant tick on you. And they aren't even that small. The biggest one is about the size of a fly. YUCK. Add it to the list of my unfavorite things for the house.

You'll only see 4, but that's because they keep attacking one of them, therefore, they are 1 together in that puff of lamb's wool on the left.

Here's the puff up close and personal. Enjoy.

We got out our Eyeclops (click for details) to magnify them later that night. It was GROSS.

And to add to the list again, we found out that we have an upflow furnace, that has been turned upside down to make a downflow. Yay! At least at this point, we're not shocked, surprised or horrified at news like that anymore. We have thick skins. (Thus better to keep ticks away)

Cara won't, so I will.

2008-05-13T09:03:00.003-06:00

So for the longest time, I have asked cara to gather up some pictures of our house (A.K.A. the death of me) and post them so I can feel validated. She never has, so I decided to take this bull by the horns and do it myself.....

If you don't know, we bought this house from a single lady who worked the night shift and seemed to love cats, dogs, indians, dolphins, and vhs tapes. Needless to say, this lifestyle will result in alot of pet hair, pet dander, and bad decorating which obviously had to change.

here are some of the before and after (or current) photos of the house. There is still a ton to do, but like cara said "It doesnt all have to be done in the first year".

Here is a shot of the living room on the day of the home inspection

And here is a current shot of the living room.

Here is a shot from the living room into the dining room on inspection day

Here are a couple of the dining room as it sits today (it is my favorite room)

Here are a couple of the bathroom, I am hoping Cara can add in the one shot we have of the bathroom before I had touched it.....It was bad.

Don't Ya'll See That There Header Up Yonder?

2008-05-12T23:14:00.004-06:00

Well read it and understand it....All Boring All the Time. No fun adventures, just boring ones. So boring in fact, that I haven't posted them. Hold yer durn horses!!!

Happy Mother's Day to You....

2008-05-11T21:03:00.002-06:00

Happy Mother's Day to You....
Happy Mother's Day all you ladies that are Motherrrrrs...
Happy Mother's Day to You....

And many more....

Spicy!

2008-04-29T23:59:00.004-06:00

In between trying to get my dog knocked up and making the invites to my boys' shared b-day party, I found the time to run to Sally's blog and see this fun gem. I immediately took that survey, because I had just read Arianne's rant about onions and I thought that was a great coincidence.

You Are Cayenne Pepper

You are very over the top and a bit overwhelming.

You have a fiery personality, and you can give anyone a good jolt.

You can easily take things up a couple notches, no matter what crowd you're running with.

What Spice Are You?

What's yer verdict on this one? True or False? And what spice are you??? (click link above)

Here I am...Rock you like a hurricane

2008-04-28T13:47:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I've been super busy. We had Spring Break and compound that with Brandon rearranging and upgrading my daily computer. I mean, I now know what it feels like to be a regular mom, not some slave to blogs. Yay? So I am using a laptop for now, (which I hate). I have this one post below because the pictures were saved here earlier. As for future posts, I'm trying to get my "real live daily driver" of a computer ready so I can be back in full force. Or I could sit in front of the TV, where Brandon has taken our normal computer and made it into an HD Tivo for us. And while I'm not complaining about that, I just need some normalcy. So until that day, bear with me. I'm sorry. And some day soon, I'll be back to the snarky comments.

This is Purse-onal. ha...Get it?

2008-04-28T13:45:00.003-06:00

So a couple of my froggers, or BBFs have posted pics of the inside of their purses. I thought, "What fun". And then I opened mine up. Let me preface this fiasco with the purse I transferred to is much bigger, and has fabulous pouches and slots and stuff to hold and organize the stuff I have in it now. It's not so horrendous. There, with that out of the way, here we go.

I love this bag. Slouchy and cute. But it only has one tiny zippered pocket to hold things. So it ends up as a conglomeration of Mess at the bottom.

First off, from top left, going clockwise: iPod Touch, YAY, giant wallet, checkbook, (also found an empty check register at the bottom) some adorable tissues from Old Navy, MANY batteries for my sucky camera, dental floss (I don't know why that's in there, I don't floss), a way too small extra memory card, various lipsticks and glosses and some gum. (oh, and the toothpaste, seriously, no idea) My cell, my sister's coupon book for the outlets, a couple of dollars, coupon holder, a bunch of trash (including an empanada wrapper from Taco Bell and sucker wrappers), and a bunch of credit cards, gift cards, store cards.
A newspaper from the area I used to live (got it at the Dr's office) and various papers (coupons, loan documents, craft coupons, receipts up the yin-yang)
I didn't even show you the extra napkins I keep in there. Blah. How depressing was that? But the good thing is, I did finally transfer purses and the new one has 4 pockets on the outside. One holds all my craft coupons and such, one for lipsticks, camera, receipts....it's heavenly. And I bought a small container of wipes to keep in there instead of wadded up napkins. Okay, now just picture my house like that: Paperwork everywhere, and a bunch of crap that I have put off putting away. Bleh.

Thanks for the Mammories

2008-04-15T13:06:00.001-06:00

UPDATE: She had a sweet little girl.

Let's not say how many weeks ago this was, but it was about 3...

All my girls from the townhouses [except Christine (we couldn't get a hold of her) and Brenda (who lives in Cali.)] got together for a Girl's Night dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We've been trying for awhile, but since Melissa was due with her 3rd baby the next week, we made it happen. We ate great food, walked around the mall and chatted till the cows came home (us...ha ha ha ha).

Here's my favorite of Liz and Melissa.

A "normal" one:

Here's the other side of the table: Adalie (who is not a blogger *gasp*), me and Amy.

Finally, we got a whole group shot, after the table was a huge mess, but alas...

(On a side note ladies, most of the pictures STILL came back with red eye in them, even with the extra obnoxious flash...blah)

And not interesting to anyone but me, here are pics of the food. Amy chose a Santa Fe salad
I had avacado eggrolls

Melissa chose the chicken mediera (sp?)

And Liz and Adalie both had the something Farfalle? ha ha
And then as I went to the bathroom, they (Liz and Melissa) hijacked my camera for some beautiful candid shots of

A lady's colorful tattoo
Our waitress, who did not have any helpful start-your-labor tips
And an artsy photo of the inside of a glass of coke?
Oh ladies, how I love you and miss you. And still to this day, I think of all the talk about boob jobs.

And after being a week overdue, Melissa's doctor was finally back in town and is supposed to be inducing her today. So maybe in the next couple hours, there will be a new Shippen baby!! They chose not to find out the sex of the baby, so I'm excited to find out what it is!

It's a Major Award!

2008-04-15T12:42:00.004-06:00

Not this:
But This:

My deary McMommy has awarded me/Bree with one half of her bloggy best friends jewelry.

Here is my acceptance speech taken from her comments section:

Though I do not drink mojitos, nor do I drink wine, I shall celebrate in my own very special way, by eating Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds right in front of this very screen, as I enjoy the limelight that has been so lovingly placed right on me (and Bree) in my grey pj's. Thank you McMommy, for all your support and love, and most of all.... (gotta go, my cereal's getting soggy. It is HBOO after all)

How Do You Even Pronounce Meme????

2008-04-10T11:38:00.003-06:00

Is it just meem? Who named it? Why don't I know the history??

5 Things Meme

First, the rules

1. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
2. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment letting them know they've been tagged and to ask them to play along and to read your blog.

What I was doing ten years ago...

1 Being rebellious
2 Ditching school
3 Rolling my Step-Dad's Rodeo (sorry about that)
4 Working at Sizzler making lousy tips
5 Having boy troubles

Five things on my to-do list today...

1 Did I mention I don't do lists? Which is why my house is in shambles.
2 Take a shower and defuglify
3 Make dessert for a dinner party of 10
4 Finish cleaning up the last of the pans from Ebelskivers last night (which took an hour to cook)
5 Make a couple birthday cards

Five snacks I enjoy...

1 chips & salsa & guacamole from Los Hermanos
2 Oreos (I just had 8) (or 10) (shut up)
3 Girl Scout Cookies
4 Have you seen my love handles?
5 Pineapple till my tongue hurts

Five things I would do if I was a billionaire...

1 Have servants... but still make my kids do chores (bwu ha ha ha ha ha ha)
2 Buy a fabo house. Not too big, cause that's just sad. Just a couple steps over our needs should
do it. But with a guest house. And have a few of them sprinkled all over the country---strike that---- world.
3 I don't know. It seems lame to have 5 options. The sky's the limit basically, right?
4
5

Five of my bad habits....

1 I pick my nails into utter oblivion. Seriously, it's crossed the line into mental defect.
2 I put stuff off forever....I should have had this done last week
3 I'm too into the internet
4 I never finish things
5

Five places I have lived....

1 Born in North Carolina (which is why Bree is my soul sista)
2 San Diego, CA
3 Nashua, NH
4 Palm Desert, CA
5 Many cities throughout Utah (I love to move)

Five jobs I've had....

1 My main employer through high school was a jewelry store where I did several different things
(glued "fake diamonds" into gold award pins, did office work, worked on the sales floor)
2 Server at Sizzler
3 Sales at The Gap, where I met Brandon in the dressing room
4 Bookkeeper for a law firm that collected on bad checks (loved that job, then had a baby)
5 Kiosk sales at the mall for 3 Christmases in a row. Sold cake, cookie, pancake mixes. All so
yummy. Fun job. How hard is it for me to pitch baked goods? I was a rock star.

Tag, you're it!! (I've never tagged anyone, as I hate it, so here goes)

1 Sally - Mustang Sally (Or Snarky Sal is her other nickname- check out her new kitchen redo)
2 Arianne - Little Pink Houses - My greatest competition on the Wii....ha
3 Ange - Ang Stuff Didja notice I spell her nickname different than her? ha ha!! We've been friends for 10 years, so she should mention something about meeting moi.
4 Adriene - The Wrights: 3 Girls and a ....Daddy My sis-in-law who's just starting her blog.
5 Sara - The Egberts Another sis-in-law, who started the original Elementary woe for me with
her PHD rating on her blog.

and a #6 because my bday is the 6th..and I want to give her something to do

6. Melissa - The Shippen Family She's my oldest and bestest neighbor girl who's at her due
date with a GIGANTIC baby, twiddling her thumbs. So get on it babe and tag the other
girls we know too. Maybe it'll get your labor started. ha

Oooo, all of these fine ladies are people I actually know and love. Yay for them!

Don't Be Jealous

2008-04-10T09:13:00.003-06:00

I was minding my own business this morning, opening my email as usual, when I happened upon one in my junk mail folder. Boy, am I glad I opened it! I can only imagine what opportunities would have passed me by if I had not checked in time and it had been deleted forever!

Here is the message:

I AM MR. CHING WONG A CITIZEN OF HONG KONG WORKING WITH Hang Seng Bank . I HAVE A BUSINESS PROPOSITION FOR YOU. PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT BE EMBARASED,I AM SEEKING YOUR ATTENTION TO HELP ME TRANSFER THE SUM OF (Twenty MILLION DOLLARS). If you will be so kind enough to grant me the permission, I will be glad to give the details.MOREOVER, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 40% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION FOR YOUR EFFORT/INPUT AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUND INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT OVERSEAS. PLEASE REPLY AT chingwonn@hotmail.com

I am so excited! I will be so rich, I will never blog again! I will have my new servants take turns doing it for me. It will probably be better anyway. Now maybe I shouldn't have posted this, because some of my "friends" will want to take this opportunity for themselves...Don't do it!!! This is MINE. I will contact Ching Wong at my earliest convenience!! I am SOOO lucky!!!

See ya suckers!!

We're Back In Business

2008-04-08T17:34:00.002-06:00

Oh Dearest of the Dear Husbands:
You are quite a mechanical man. I sing your praises every time the warm air blows.

Thursday night, our furnace-knowledgeable neighbor agreed with Brandon's diagnosis and promptly got us the replacement gas valve that we needed on Friday. Brandon promptly and in such a manly manner, installed it. And we went out to Fuddruckers to eat heavenly hamburgers while the house warmed up. Everyone Cheer. Cue the weekend of warmth. Yay.

Electorated

2008-04-08T17:25:00.001-06:00

While the furnace was out, I was stupidly trying to heat the main floor with a space heater. Eamon walked by it, tripped on the cord and it came unplugged. He was walking off, and I said, "Well, plug it back in..."

**Not an actual picture of our outlet**

He took the plug, went over to the outlet, and then backed away.

"No! I can't! I'll get electorated!!!"

I'm just glad he remembered something Brandon taught him.

When Hell Freezes Over

2008-04-04T11:26:00.007-06:00

Our heater went out 2 mornings ago. Something to do with the gas valve. Anyway, it's finally been diagnosed, and the part will hopefully be put in later today. Yesterday and the day before were tolerable and by using 2 space heaters, our main floor averaged about 66 degrees the first day, 62 degrees yesterday, and a balmy and FREEZING 59 degrees today. I'm dyin' ova heeya.

So these pictures represent the newest remodel effort... From this:

To hopefully this:

What's More Exciting Than Lint?

2008-04-04T11:22:00.004-06:00

I had washed a bunch of blankets; throw blankets, quilts, crap blankets....and after pulling the load out of the dryer that had this red throw in it, I found this in the lint trap.

And remember, this is only from one load. Here I demonstrate just how thick it is.

This is joyous to my soul. I LOVE thick dryer lint! It only comes about once in a great while, but I do treasure those moments. And now I'm required to fold all these blankets instead of put them around my freezing body.

The Housicle Update........Something to report

2008-04-03T08:29:00.002-06:00

As Cara stated before, it was supposed to be on the news the other night, but due to some breaking news, it was bumped, trashed, abandoned......or was it? I was at work yesterday morning and my co-worker said that someone he knew just called him to tell him that they saw yet another teaser for the story, only this time it was to be on that morning. Chris quickly called his dad so that through the miracle of modern technology, he could record it. while it may not be the prime time 10 o'clock news, it was still on the news and I am dang proud. See honey, I am worth something!

Breaking News---Nothing to Report

2008-04-02T09:27:00.005-06:00

Update:

Sorry to all those I called after 9pm last night to tell them to watch. The list is long, and now that means there were a ton of people sitting there through "Breaking News". Basically the whole newscast (except weather) was bumped for this story. A little girl went missing 2 days ago, and all signs in the breaking news story pointed to them finding her body. Of course it is a tragedy, of course a lot of people were worried about her, searching for her. But they didn't have any information to give about it till about 10:30 when there was finally a press conference. So they just filled time for half an hour, which is why I don't watch the news. So sure, the Housicle isn't as important as all that, but still...We were mucho disappointed. And I wish I could play it off as a prank of our own, like "Ha ha, we FOOLED you all!!" but that would add to the embarrassment. Blah..

This Just In---Housicle Great--News at 10

2008-04-01T22:06:00.005-06:00

Brandon called me today to say there was going to be some story done about the Housicle. (link included if you're just joining us) Blahbity blah, there weren't able to get interviews and such done for it, so we were like, guess not.

Flash forward to dinner time, and the infamous Stew from the video calls and says he saw some promo on Channel 5 about some office prank. So I've called a bunch of people to tell them to watch, and we'll hope no one's disappointed. Maybe they'll just show the video, I have no idea. But anyway, we thought it was pretty cool. It's up to 286,929 hits on YouTube. yee haw.

We Didn't Start the Fire (Eamon did)

2008-04-01T21:57:00.004-06:00

So I was on the phone talking to some lady about getting an insurance quote, and I could see Eamon in the kitchen. He's up on the counter and I tell him to get off. Next thing I know, he has a napkin, still standing on the counter (in his underwear, so you can picture the mischievous guy). I tell him to get off the counter. I look down for a second at my desk, look over, and there are small flames on top of the stove. I had my beautiful candle burning there, and Eamon took the napkin and started it on fire. I swore (with the nice lady on the phone) and ran over. Wasn't a huge deal, cause it was just a napkin, but it's ablaze. I threw a dish towel on it to smother it, everything's fine. The lady's like, "Is everything okay?" "Yeah, my 3 year old just started a fire. Could you please insure my home...?" Laughter ensues. Hopefully I haven't been flagged by this company as a DO NOT ACCEPT candidate.

Now, even though it's late, and no one will read this till tomorrow, this is NOT a prank. It's fo realz. Here's the proof, a scorched napkin in the trash. Boy do those sooty embers get all over. They're like feathers.

And this is only half an hour after he peed his pants in the bathroom and pours out all my cheapy bubble bath in the empty tub. (He thought he would luxuriate in the bath)

But I did save a bunch of money on my car insurance....

April Fools Rules (but not for me)

2008-04-01T15:40:00.004-06:00

My sis-in-law Sara just sent me this email..

bike accident‏
From: Sara
Sent: Tue 4/01/08 3:05 PM
To: Cara

Hey family, Just wanted to let you all know that Rob got in a bike accident this morning on his way to school. The ex ray showed that his left tibia (shinbone) and patella (kneecap) are both broken. He's in the hospital right now and doing okay. Feel free to give him a call on his cell phone.
-Sara

So I wrote back that that sucks for them being Spring and all...(they are very active)

Her response???

Re: bike accident‏
From: Sara
Sent: Tue 4/01/08 3:27 PM
To: Cara

April Fools!

Nice, real nice. OH, new development, my Mom just emailed me. "Did you hear about Rob's accident??" Geeeez. They are too too good. I was thinking of blogging that I would be closing down my blog, but you would all be like, 'Been there, done that last week.' And everything that I think of sounds too morbid. "Brandon lost his job", "I'm pregnant" (not morbid, but would be like the delight of the world, so that would be rude), "The plumbing is flooding the laundry room" (too lame). So Sara, ya got me. And I can't even promise that I'll get even, cause I won't be able to. I'm still trying to think of something for Brandon, but we shall see. I'll let you know.

Tetanus Anyone?

2008-04-01T14:53:00.004-06:00

Thursday I walked around my van, stepped on something, and when it went into my foot, I finally took notice. Here is the offender.

Here is the hole in my shoe.
Here is the mostly healed hole in my foot.

I know, nothing great, but I did have to go get a Tetanus shot the next day. Yippee!
It was a roofing nail, and I blame Brandon. Though that Saturday he stepped on one that went into his big toe. So there's his payback! HA!

Something's Not Quite Right

2008-04-01T11:03:00.011-06:00

This morning I was looking at Eamon's pajamas. They were a little funny looking. He put them on with one of the legs as the waistband. Check out his right leg. You can see the elastic.

Not the best post in the world, but it's a post.

The Boycott is Over!!

2008-03-26T12:28:00.000-06:00

And while the day after it started, I was informed that the package was already on its way, I still decided to take a(nother) break and wait till it arrived. I am so very pleased though, that even this morning Bree complained to me that she had another comment on her site about it. HA. My loyal minions, I LOVE YOU!

But now she is mad at me, because I exchanged the gift. (Wallflowers from Bath & Body Works, the scent was not my style, but I loved the gesture. I did get pineapple orchid and wild honeysuckle instead.) I don't know how to make it up to her, because we had discussed this very subject (exchanging, me being picky about gifts, yes, I am a jerk) in October, before her birthday. I told her in advance about my pickiness, but I guess I am truly a rude person, and for that I apologize, but still love her and her thoughtfulness. And right now, my house smells awesome!!

And while I was there, I picked up a pineapple shaped pineapple orchid candle which is divine. And this one is pink, because the top of the white one I was carrying to the front to purchase flew off and shattered. Nuts.

Which brings me to my next post...the paint color.

Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

2008-03-26T12:04:00.007-06:00

Or Grass Cloth. Whichever. Here's the new color we picked out. Brandon is skillfully applying the edging. Oh, and he bought me a paint sucker tube thingy. So it sucks up to half-quart? in it's tube, and you pull a trigger to get the paint on the roller. SO wonderful.

We bought a quart of it and put it on the walls to help us decide, cause a swatch will never tell you the truth. Sometimes, I think it's a little bit baby poo-colored, but really, it's 100% better then the green that was there before. (Muddy Green, I now call it) Oh, the door behind Brandon is white, but the trim is not. You can tell in the daylight photos. Only the other 3 doorways hav the trim done. Just so that you know that the trim needs to be painted white still. And farewell faux-bricks.

Can you see them on the right? They were all over the place. The color on the right is the old green, the dining room is through the door on the right, the stairs section of the living room through the left.

I love that the colors go well together as you look into the next room.

When we remodel the kitchen, there will be clean real white cabinets, so this will be so fresh to be in. It's just a hair off of my favorite Stampin' Up green, Certainly Celery. I really love referring to colors in the real world as Stampin Up colors. What do you think?

I'm Boycotting Myself

2008-03-19T18:09:00.004-06:00

I'm boycotting my blog until I receive my Christmas present from Bree.

I'm really getting superficially upset about it. I even dreamed about receiving it last night and when I woke up, I cried myself back to sleep. All of that last sentence was a lie, but it felt awesome to type it.

So go to her blog and leave her a comment if you will miss me.

(This is her copying me.)

Tell her to stop torturing me. Tell her anything you want, and then leave me a comment to tell me you did, and I will totally love you 10x more than I did yesterday.

Piz to the Azz

2008-03-19T18:05:00.006-06:00

Oooo! Found these gems at the craft store and snapped some pics. How could I not?

Anyone have any other titles that would be more appropriate? Do tell! Also, which one would look best on me? I'm more of a pizazz kind of girl myself.

Dog in Headlights

2008-03-19T18:03:00.004-06:00

Here’s a random picture of Emma.

This is her favorite spot when it’s cold. It’s right in front of the kitchen sink where those lovely little holes vent the heater there. I made her reeeeal nervous taking this picture. Yay Emma!

Ooo, Crafty Crazy Cara

2008-03-19T17:46:00.005-06:00

Okay, so I made some beaded pens today, like crafty crazy pens.

I'm proud of myself, and my reading of tutorial skills. I got the tutorial from Emily, who is in China visiting her sister right now. So yay, I made 2 pens. I am actually procrastinating making some cards for our youth group fundraiser tomorrow. I signed up to make them for the silent auction, but have yet to complete them. I promise I will! So that's why I'm neglecting the blog. When I procrastinate one thing, it makes me too busy to work on others. Sounds wierd, but true.

A Sad Sad Day

2008-03-12T11:37:00.002-06:00

I was at my Sis-in-law Sara's blog just now. She had this fun thing in her post. I thought I'd give it a try. Boo Hoo. I wish I hadn't, but I did, and now I'm doomed to share it with all of you.

See Dick. See Jane. See Dick and Jane. See Spot. See Spot run! Run away Dick and Jane!!!
Is this what I sound like? Boo Hoo! I guess this means something about my loyal readers.. HA! Joke's on you, then! What is the highest level of education you have completed? Answer!

This is Roxie

2008-03-10T22:34:00.007-06:00

So I had to go to Cam's school (like I do every Monday) but Brandon had taken my car and left his in a non-running state. I could've gotten a ride from a neighbor, but c'mon, it's 3 blocks. How lame would I be? So I just took Eamon's razor scooter. It was funnish and all, but I did see people I knew and they mocked me a little. So I looked at bikes on Target.com. Boy do they have some fun ones. The only one in stock at the store was this one.

There were a lot of bad reviews and okay reviews. I decided for the price and the look, it was fine. We went to the store to pick it up and when the girl brought it out from the back room, it was like a dream.Isn't she a beaute!

It reminds me of a bike Barbie of the 40's would ride. (If any of my siblings actually read this, I would say, it's a prettier version of "the Tank". It's bubble gum pink Ha. Her name is Roxie. I didn't name her, but that's okay.

So we had to take Brandon's small car to the store, since mine kept going kaput before I got 1/2 mile away from the house. (He had gone a little crazy on the engine at the car wash) So the bike wouldn't fit in his car, and my car wouldn't run that night, so I decided I would ride it home. It's 2 miles. Only a little chilly luckily. It was fun. Until the one hill I had to take. GOSH that was hard. But I made it without stopping! I couldn't feel my legs when I got home. And as soon as I walked in the house, I couldn't move, and I was spacey. All energy gone. Whew. Now we just need to get Eamon a real bike and we're in business! Yee haw! A bike! I feel like a kid again! Just not as ugly.

As I previewed the post, an image of Pee Wee Herman's red bike popped in my head. I'd like to think of a better name than Roxie. What would Pee Wee say? Also, Brandon's mom has a cute red one similar to this that has a basket. With the spring in the front, I don't think a basket will work, maybe a back basket?? Also, a BELL, so I can ring it and embarrass Brandon when he buys his bike and we go as a family. My whole life is dedicated to causing Brandon as much embarrassment as possible.

And at the Very Same Moment, Brandon Was Doing the Very Same Thing

2008-03-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Here's a post of something that happened 3 weeks ago:

I was putting Cam's homework away, right before they went to bed. Both kids were in their PJ's, watching something on tv. I heard Eamon cry, and ran over. (I have learned to distinguish the cries, and this one meant something.) He had hit his face on the coffee table. As I baby-carried him to the dining room to get more light, I saw no blood on his mouth where I assumed he had hit. But then, I did. His chin was bleeding. So I laid him on the table to get a better look. It was a "kisser" (I made that up just now). If you moved it just right, it was a nasty bloody little mouth. So I held it another way, to keep it closed. I had Cam hold a tissue on it (to keep it closed) and called Bran (at his friend's house replacing his muffler?) to tell him about it.

"Eamon cut his chin open and I think I need to take him to the Instacare."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Um, no...."

"Well, I just had Seth superglue my cheek, cause I cut it open. It would open when I moved my cheek. I am in the bathroom looking at it. And my car is not in running condition right now so I can't go with you."

"Oh."

So I drove the kids to the Orem Instacare because they were open till 10pm. Lucky me. While we waited, a nurse put some numbing stuff on gauze and taped it to his chin.

Cam and Eamon were very good. I was able to use my iTouch to let them watch a short video and they also watched Hero League or something like that with Batman on the tv there. He ended up getting 3 stitches without a shot. It was such a different experience from the one he had when he turned 1 and had to get 5 stitches above his eyebrow. That was horrible.

Here's one of Bran's cheek a week later.

Two days later, Eamon pulled one of the stitches out. It was already scabbed over, so I just left it.

Also, I would like to be called Dr. Hansen....cause I just pulled them out myself. I don't have time to drive over there and have them do it. It's not rocket science. So the half with the remaining two stitches looks perfect, the other side, not so much. Looks like a cut that was left to heal by itself. Lame. So he will have half a scar. Stinkin' kid.

"Hot Lips" Hayman

2008-03-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

I spent the day in Ogden on Friday 2 weeks ago. Eamon and I had a lot of fun hanging out with Grandma & Grandpa Hayman all day. I got to get my nails done, and did a little shoe shopping while Grandma babysat. Yay!

While I was there, Grandma told me about all these cinnamon lips gummy candies she had bought. They were $.50/lb. so she bought up a TON. She sent us home with a 5 lb. bag.

I started calling her "Hot Lips" Hayman. So fitting if you've ever watched M*A*S*H.

I'm "Plumb" Near Ecstatic!

2008-03-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

I was not nagging (yes I was) Brandon about our mysterious loss of hot water pressure in the kitchen since he plumbed the upstairs bathroom. I really wasn't (yes I was). So 2 weekends ago, he replumbed the house with Pex. Instead of up to 2 minutes of waiting for hot water in the kitchen, at half pressure, I am instantly gratified with HOT water in 12-15 seconds. It's a March wonderland of water here! I'm thrilled. Filling up pots takes like seconds! I feel so, so modern!

Cam dared to venture into the hazardous land of the crawlspace, so we thought we'd document it. Don't worry, he had a gas mask.

Bran needed a bath after being in the nasty crawlspace all day. Too bad he hadn't hooked up the bathtub lines yet. So we boiled water and poured hot water from the sink in 2-4 quart increments for a while. I thought it was very pioneery of us.

Can I Get a What-What? -or- Lots of Air Quotes

2008-03-06T21:16:00.008-07:00

I was talking to Bree earlier and I asked her what she thought a good name was for a blogger friend. I've made quite a few of you in the last few months (more than in real life almost, sadly....). Specifically, I have "friends" that I knew before my blogging days, that also have their own blogs, and I have "friends" that I am only friends with because (or despite) of blogs. I haven't met any of them in person. They are "blogger friends".

So the question is, if a "web log" is a "blog" what is a "blog friend"?

In SAT terms, if "web log" is to "blog", then "blog friend" is to "????" .

I thought of Bliend right off the bat. Lame-o. Then I talked to my bro-in-law Jordan today, and he immediately came up with BBF. Brilliant! So I have a poll to the left. Pick your favorite, or leave a new option in the comments. I'd like to hear what you think. Basically, do I have any "blonds" or "frogs"? ha. I like those. Oh, wait.

Out of Gas

2008-03-06T09:52:00.009-07:00

I did a little searching around (I don't know why) and found some more in the Heavenly Handfuls Collection. There are also Pandas, and worse than the monkeys, KITTENS. They are horrible. Click here and then click closer view. It's worth your trouble. The kitten on the left looks like a tough guy. http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-913413.jsp?cm_ven=Shopping&cm_cat=MSN&cm_pla=Datafeed&cm_ite=913413#

Oh, I just googled Heavenly Handfuls. There's a million of them. Some of those babies look MESSED UP. You're welcome....

Now I know that when I think of baby dolls, I want a green little witch baby.

Oh geez, I wanna eat it. There goes my diet.

This little man is entitled, "Out of Gas". When is a baby ever out of gas?

Now is it just me or does anyone else want to punch this little baby right in the face??? Especially if it's making that much noise.

Now I think one's just all sorts of wrong.

I only did this because of all the passionate responses I've gotten, I should keep this going......

Just kidding.

Baby Jingles (Accessories Not Included)

2008-03-05T13:47:00.006-07:00

As I was perusing my coupons from the Sunday paper today (hey, I'm a little behind), I happened upon this little gem. Once in a while, I am lucky enough to have such joyful strangeness brought into my life via the coupons. This is one of those times.

BABY JINGLES! "This playful little sweetheart is quite a handful!" (I think it looks dead.)

It says in the fine print that demand is expected to be great, so I'm DEFINITELY going to order mine NOW like it says to. It is only $29.99 (plus $5.99 shipping and service charges) and I think that's a STEAL. If some of you think that's expensive for a toy monkey, it says right on the ad that "This figure is not a toy. It is a fine collectible to enjoyed by adult collectors." (bold added) So hurry and order NOW!

Oh....it doesn't come with the beautiful banana.....(sniff) I guess I'll have to rip up this check I started filling out......

She's Truly Truly Truly Outrageous!

2008-03-05T09:56:00.004-07:00

Dearest Brother-in-Law Jordan,
I love you, thank you for posting this on my Myspace page.

Does anyone remember her?

I LOVED Jem as a kid. My fondest Jem memory was my cool coloring book. It had an embossed cover with metallic accents. I still remember coloring in those scheming Misfits. Remember how futuristic Jem & the Holograms sounded! Yeah!

On a side note, "so outrageous" was in the opening of the Anna Nicole show. Remember that train wreck? "Howeeerrrd!" I used to do impressions of her to Brandon till he cracked up. I miss that show.

I Love Technology (aka Posting in the Car)

2008-03-03T19:18:00.006-07:00

Brandon borrowed a Wireless Aircard from work to use on his laptop. We are driving through St. George now. I am typing on the laptop. I love technology. To borrow from Kip:

Why do you love me?
Why do you need me?
Always and forever...

We met in a chatroom,
now our love can fully bloom...
Sure the world wide web is great,
but you, you make me salivate...

I love technology,
but not as much as you, you see...
But I STILL love technology...
always and forever.

Our love is like a flock of doves,
flying up to heaven above...
a`lways and forever,
always and forever...

Why do you need me?
Why do you love me?
Always and forever...

Yes, that was more like a love song, so I will just change the subject and dedicate this post to Bree. I think it's quite fitting. Also, I was checking my phone messages via internet (Thank you Comcast) and I saw that she called today. I'M NOT HOME YET!!! I'm coming, Nascar!!!

We had a great extra day here today and I will share it all when I get home. Yay Hoover Dam!

Stupid

2008-02-28T20:53:00.002-07:00

I backed into another car tonight. Slam! Never crave Iceberg french fries. It will be your undoing.

Viva Las Vegas

2008-02-28T12:06:00.006-07:00

We are heading on down to Sunny Las Vegas to spend the weekend with Brandon's brother's family. We're excited to see Grace, Sarah, and Emma. It's been a year since we've seen them. They stayed here for a few days and we had a lot of fun. It's always nice to have somewhere to stay when you go there. I'm cheap, so other times we've gone (sans kids, well, I guess sometimes with kids) we'll go to Old Vegas (aka craptown). But for $25 a night, how could I not!? Anyway, we're glad to be staying in a beautiful home, no smoking in sight.

I'm just posting this so you won't pester me while I'm gone to post more. ha.

"Guys Eyes" and "Man Cold"

2008-02-17T22:53:00.003-07:00

My rad friend Brenda had a post up today that I was laughing and nodding my head to tonight. She describes "Guys Eyes" and "Man Cold" syndromes to a tee. I'd never heard of "Guys Eyes" before, and thought it some some sick and drippy nastiness oozing from the eye. I was wrong. There is also a funny commercial that shows the "Man Cold" in all its glory. Brandon has a slight case of the eyes, and Cameron is full on infected with it. Anyway, go and read! And give this lady a shout-out for me.

Oh What a Beautiful Morning! Oh What a Beautiful Day!

2008-02-15T11:36:00.006-07:00

I've got a beautiful feeeeling! Everything's going my way......well, not exactly.
Anyway, we had a fun night last night as the only guests at my cousin's Valentine's party. We had fun touring their new "old" house and had a lotta yummy food. I LOVE GUACAMOLE. There, I got it off my chest.

So we got home and decided that since we were (I was) all dolled up, we should take a Valentine picture. I said, "Hey, let's make them like engagement pictures!" and Brandon instantly came up with our pose.

Oh, that's not it, that's the ceiling. We were in our poses, when one of our ferrets started investigating the camera and tipped it over right before it took. I shooed her away and started over.

Hope you all had a Happy Valentine's Day!

And on Wednesday, I went to Enrichment night at our church and learned how to decorate cakes and cookies. I was really intimidated. I watched everyone else, and finally decided to mostly copy my friend Haylie's cookie. I got home and before I could take the picture, Brandon stole it and ran from me. "I want to take a picture of it before it's gone!!!!" Finally he stopped. CAUGHT!

Look at that lattice work! Look at the border! I am a cookie artiste'. Aren't I?

And one random one I found on my camera that Eamon must've taken.

OOOOhhhh! My Stampin' Up! order just arrived. MUST GO NOW.

I just Hacked to say I love you

2008-02-14T08:30:00.003-07:00

Well, It is once again upon us........The special day filled with thoughts of love, romance, and flying fat babies with "bowaneros" (if you read the blog you'll understand). I wanted to do something different for Cara, and theres one sure fire way to tell someone how much you love them....Hack into their blogger account, add yourself as a contributor and tell them.

CaraDee, as much as you drive me crazy, I really do love you with most of my heart (the rest is reserved for other things....the car, oh, and the kids). You are beautiful when you get dressed and put on your eyebrows. At least once a week, I get to marvel at you. You are funny when you're not mad at me. Honestly though, I love you and there is no one I know that I could get along with like I do you. We have always been able to laugh together even though you are usually laughing at me, not with me. You play guitar hero like a true champ, which says alot. You always light up a room full of people and I love that about you. For the most part, I would say that I am proud to call you my wife. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

And At The Very Same Moment, My Mom Was Probably Doing The Very Same Thing To Me

2008-02-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

Hello dear everyone, I thought I'd better not let a whole month go by without posting. After all, when your blog grosses(?) over 8,000 hits in one week, it's hard to think that nothing you write will ever surpass that glory again.

Anyway, the other day, Brandon said that behind our brick facade that resembles a fireplace (with no fireplace), there were some pictures. He took off the top of the mantle and fashioned some sort of stick to retrieve them. So they were dirty, but the first one was an 11 x 14 gargantuan photo of some little girl staring down into a flower or something. I just had him toss it.

But the second, THE SECOND was priceless. Not only for the ugliness that it was, but for the history and backstory it (probably) provides. We will assume, for it seems perfectly timed, that this is is a photo of the one and only owner of THIS. Why do we have such an obsession with bringing THIS up? Because THIS, folks, is our favorite goodness about the house. Such mystery, such intrigue, such trash. I love it. Anyway, here he is, sitting exactly in the center of where our bed is NOW, getting his hair permed. I know that when Brandon gets his hair permed, he wears the same outfit. It's really the perfect ensemble for the task. Maybe the chest hair was next on the perming agenda. I guess we'll never know. And on my growing list of things I wish I never knew?

THIS

Anyway, here it is.

Oh, and by the way, THANKS honey, for getting me a scanner/printer/copier for our anniversary in November. It makes all this possible.

It's HEEEERE!!!!

2008-01-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

To answer a question I keep getting: YES, IT'S STAYING UP.
So far, Stew loves it, but if he feels the need to stand up once in a while, he can move to a different cubicle in the same area.

Reaction Video being Edited NOW!

2008-01-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

Brandon told me that Chris is taking the morning off to edit the video. Sorry for the long wait today. I was as MAD as you are now. So hopefully this will be a masterpiece theater video reaction! Yay!

The "Housicle"

2008-01-11T11:46:00.001-07:00

Brandon and his co-worker Chris decided to prank their fellow co-worker Stewart. Here's his email to me.

"So it all started as an idea to play a prank on our co-worker Stewart who was traveling out of the country for 3 weeks. The last time I was out of the office I came back to find my cubicle boxed in with spare cubicle parts, but something so simple was not enough this time around.

Before he left, we mentioned to him that we had to do something “Monumental” and he jokingly replied with something about boxing him in with drywall………….and there it was, the “big bang”, the initial spark that set off the fire that is, “The Housicle”. It is what I belive to be the ultimate Cubicle prank to date. All of the lights are on a separate switch and the Ceiling fan will surely provide a comfortable breeze come summertime. Enjoy."

Don't forget to go to my other post of the making of, and final reveal video here.

I'm Trying to Break the Internet

2008-01-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

Did it work?

As you can see, I'm sick today.

This Post Brought To You by Apple...Nevermind, It's Not Working

2007-12-28T23:30:00.000-07:00