My Fear of Pickles and Mustard is Ruining My Life!

I promise that one day soon I will post some Halloween pictures. Yeah, it's been over a week since Halloween...SO SUE ME. Blah. They will be worth it.

Also, updates on the giant hole in my house.

Also, something else that I can't remember now. But in the meantime, enjoy this. This is good stuff. Good Stuff!!




Remember how I said my Mom came and sprayed for spiders? And what I wrote about what I did when I found the scary ones on the side of the house? Well, if you had any trouble imagining me, picture the balloon lady.

Poor Poor Christine

I ran into Christine today at Walmart. I just wanted to publicly apologize for the trauma that I've caused her with the last post. She told me she had dreamt of Geraldo last night.

Christine.....I'm sorry. Truly.

NOT!!!

Cover Your Eyes

Oh my dear friends, you are in for a treat today.

Last night, Brandon was demolishing the walls and ceiling in the bathroom. He was pulling the piece of drywall away from the ceiling and had a discovery. He called me upstairs. Laying on the drywall was what looked like newspaper.

"Oh, is that an old newspaper??" I asked. "Is this like their time capsule? Ha ha."

It was not. It was a Sep. 1988 issue of PlayGirl magazine, with Geraldo Rivera on the cover. Insert gasp with hands over my mouth, shock and hysterical laughter. Next to the dirty mag was an empty Skoal container. Hmm....We're beginning to realize that the Playgirl was not put there by a woman. GEEZ. So in turn, makes us realize that the incompetent jackass that built on the addition in the attic was not only totally terrible at remodeling, but also secretly gay. Love it. And I kept asking, "Why would it be there???" I mean, it was just sitting on top of the drywall, like, "Aw, shucks, I better keep this habit a secret, so I will entomb it in the ceiling, never to be seen again." Little did he know.....I think we'll keep it in a vault, or frame it, to be recorded in the history of this wierd house.

Tear The Walls Down!!!!

Okay, here's how the upstairs bizarre little bathroom looked when we were looking at buying the house last year. We haven't done anything good to it yet. We ignore it mostly.

This is sadly looking EXACTLY the same. Even the same lotion. Blah.

Anything you see here that is movable is obviously gone, since it wasn't ours. And I immediately took down that HORRIBLE privacy plastic from the windows. The toilet is behind that privacy half-wall. See that floor? It consists of self-stick vinyl tiles. And they aren't even aligned together some of the time. How is that good for a bathroom floor that can get wet? It's not! That's why the toilet is sinking into the floor.


This is a door to a storage room.

Peek-a Boo!! Yes, folks, that is the toilet tank sticking through the "custom" hole. Precious I tell ya. And there is the clawfoot tub. It has been outside on our back deck for the whole year. All winter, all spring, all summer, now fall again. It had been PAINTED that almond color and Brandon was going to strip it. I mean, PAINT? Who paints the interior of a tub? Brandon finally has a plan to take care of all of it himself. We've found a beautiful antique looking faucet and are planning on getting it when the tub is ready.

WHAM-O!!! Check this out!

Brandon ripped out the privacy wall for the toilet and is going to cut out this useless truss. But we're still going to have to wait till the floor is ripped out to see what options we have for moving the tub and toilet positions. Cross your fingers folks.

And In Other News...

Okay, my dear friend Bree has been BUGGING THE CRIPPITY CRAP out of me all day for an update with the pumpkin pictures from our fun night of carving. Hours and hours of "Is it done yet?" "I'm sick of looking at no pumpkins" "You are a lazy blogger". So here they are. Sheeesh!!!
My Mom gave Cameron this fill-your-own pumpkin man and he was super excited to fill it. With our HUGE towering tree in the backyard, it was no problem finding the stuffing. Eamon and Cameron are "helping" Brandon carry the pumpkin man through the house to the porch.

Cameron just looked horrified to see who his seat mate was....But to me, he looks pretty friendly. I wouldn't date him or anything, I'm just saying he looks kinda happy-go-lucky. Looks like he would be whistling.

Cameron's pumpkin was a skull and Eamon's is um, something I did for him.

This is us with our finished pumpkins too.

By the time we finished with ours, the kids were already asleep. I was done quickly, cause I really didn't feel like spending time on something that would rot in 2 days. So as Brandon painstakingly "etched" out his Decepticon logo, I sat on the couch and watched The Bachelor out of boredom.

I don't watch that show, but now I might tivo the rest. It was a riot. You know, you think that when you become an adult, people won't act like retards on TV, especially when they are looking for a mate. I don't know, that guy is cute I guess, but he came across LAME. Then the crazy crying girl mayhem at the end of the rose ceremony was awesome. Mascara and freakshow smeared across her face. Geez. Can these people really think that ALL OF THEM are "falling in love" with this guy in this contrived setting? Anyway, then I watched the news. Everytime I watch the news, I remember why I don't watch the news. Filler, filler, filler. They did a story about an old couple that had their car stolen and their dog was in it. "This is the handicapped space where Joe Schmoe was sitting tonight when....." and the reporter is pointing to a parking spot. Is it neccessary to be at the spot to report on it? "The dog was the same age as the car." WHAT? WHAT? Who cares? Is that worth air-time? At least they didn't say, "It could have been worse." Maybe it's sad that they didn't. Maybe it's the worst thing that could have happened. But I don't think so. Am I ranting? I am. I hate watching the news.

"And now, back to your regularly scheduled blog."

Here are the finished pumpkins. Aren't they super? I love mine. Simple yet effective.

And here I am with a piece of the ear from Eamon's pumpkin. LOOK! It's a C! For Cara!

Quick Question

Okay, I'll be posting later today with some super great pics....not really super great, but okay. Anyway, I was looking at my visitor map and couldn't believe what I saw! I can understand the Southern California dot, the Utah County dot, the Toronto dot, but what about all the rest??? Who are you and where are you from? How did you find me? Why do you want to read my boring adventures? Leave a comment! Introduce yourselves! Please! I will wait on pins and needles all day.

Out of the Mouth of Brats

I was scrolling down through the posts and Cameron saw the one of us at the park. He said, "There's a memory that I can remember!" Alrighty then.

Winter Woodland (Hills)

Last Saturday, I took the kids up to my Mom's house in Woodland Hills, about 30 minutes away. They live on the side of a mountain. It was raining hard all that day, but as I came up the road to their house, it was full on snowing.

It's actually "foggy" or cloudy so that her normally amazing view is completely obliterated. (This house is her neighbor)

Here is a sunny normal day from her front door. Don't mind us.

This is when we got out of the car, Eamon was a little blurry eyed.

So we had a great time there! My Mom made us dinner, and right when we finished, Eamon went up to Grandpa's puzzle and "helped" with it. Meaning he ruined half of it. So I spent most of my evening fixing what he did. Later, when Larry came back, he never knew. But I continued working on it later with him anyway. It was fun. The kids played Sorry and other games with my Mom and she got her Halloween decorations out and let them help her set them up. They loved it.

By the end of the night, Eamon accidentally peed his pants. He always does it near the bathroom, poor guy. I heard him say, "My penis peed in my pants all by itself." I laughed and told him that he did it, not his penis. He insisted, "No, my penis did it all by itself!" I guess he means that he couldn't hold it anymore. So my Mom sent him home in a pillowcase, tied around the waist with a string. It was pretty funny cause he was jumping around the house like a little potato sack racer. I love his face in this picture.

I Apologize...

For the last spider that was in my header. Really, it was a totally small spider, but the closeup offered so much depth and detail. Much creepier. I had several (well, 2) comments saying that they are not scared of spiders, but were given the heebie-geebies by this one. Yay! Then I have fully conveyed to you my living conditions....hahaha! Okay, so I changed the picture to the original monster, but will change it to something less scary soon. I mean, it is almost Halloween, so I could say I am getting in on the spirit of things. Right? Right? Okay, soon.

Is Eamon a Blessing in Disguise?

YES.
This boy is the start of this woeful tale. You all know him right? I caught him dumping a Kool-Aid single serve packet into the water bottle it was next to. He was under my stamp desk. He didn't really make a mess this time, but I had to get the vacuum to get the remaining powder by the vent.
Whilst I am vacuuming, I notice a light coming out of the vent. That's strange, I thought, so I removed the vent cover.
You can see the foundation clearly here, and wait, that's the "hole" in the foundation that lets the crawl space breathe. Why is this showing???
Can you see the light here??? YUCK!
My vent has fallen away from the subfloor and is resting on the ground below my house, therefore warming the crawl space and leaving a giant gap to the outside world (or place below the house). What lucky mice and spiders we have! Double Yuck!!!! Remember THIS??? Seriously, living in a house that is 100 years old is practically an invitation to these spiders and other such pests (earwigs) to come on in and freak me out.
And don't think for one moment that I put my arm in there and pulled it back up.
NO I DID NOT. I called Brandon on his cell and interrupted his nice lunch to tell him to do it when he got home. Cause that's how I roll.