Pearl "Retardation" Hansen

I haven't thought of a better middle name yet, that's what I originally came up with since she's been a little behind the others since week one. She's coming out of it, but will still topple over once in a while when she's running too fast. She's the puppy we're keeping.

I haven't told the whole story, but when she was a few days old, I found out that she wasn't able to "suckle" right. She couldn't keep the suction. I bottle fed her for a day, then found out that she was the runt. Emma had rejected her with some growls and bites. She was my project for a whole week. I slept on the couch with her on the floor in a basket with a heating pad in it. I woke up to feed her. BLAH. Part of the time, she would throw up what she ate (which I was basically forcing her to eat). She was constipated on top of that. After a couple days of this we were basically just waiting for her to die. She got all scrawny and tired. It was VERY sad.

(Milk Mustache)

For a size comparison

She climbed up the front of my shirt and nestled her little self standing up in my ponytail.
One night, as a last resort, Brandon fashioned for Pearl a puppy enema. He administered it to her, and then we gave her a tiny tiny bit of Pepto Bismal. Can I just tell you IT WORKED!!! Poo was released, food stayed in!! It was a puppy miracle. She was voracious after that. And a few days after that, we tried to see what Emma would do back in the box with her and the others. She latched on and Emma got over her hatred. NO MORE BOTTLE FEEDINGS!! YAY!!

Here she's giving you a little wink after a bath....

This is my idea of the perfect present...

Naptime on Daddy

She is a little feisty freak and we LOVE her.
Oooo, maybe Pearl "Runt"atia??

Wait!! I've got it.....

Pearl Bailey Hansen. Just a tribute to an old Muppet sketch I love. And the name of the song is perfect.



I'll have to run it by Brandon. In the meantime, do you have any suggestions?? Or any ideas on where I could pick up an outfit that is as slendiforous as the one she's wearing??

ETA: Be sure to see the follow-up post for this HERE.

Random Tidbits....(Warning: not funny)

Cam's first day of school was on Monday. He had a great day. The second day?? Not so much. "There was a lot of homework."


Brandon found a steal of a deal on a porch swing he had been eyeing all summer. He installed it yesterday, and it is NIIIIICE.
(Never you mind that Foosball table by the door.)

Yesterday was also Brandon's Grandma Charlene's 76th birthday. We went up to Ogden to go to Chili's with her and Grandpa. The phrase on this plaque only makes sense for her. She can never tell you a recipe..."I don't know, I just made it up," she'll say.


Here is the world's worst group photo of us after dinner. (Eamon needs smile lessons or something, he does this every time.)

And Brandon let the remaining puppies roam around the kitchen this morning. Here they are taking a much needed nap at my feet.

PART II: Horton Hears a Who the Crap Did This???

If you weren't around for the original Horton prank post, click here...

Before I even made that post, I received 2 anonymous comments about it. Here they are:

Anonymous said...
I'm just curious if you've ever seen Horton Hears A Who... I hear it is really funny.That is all. June 30, 2008 2:32 PM

Anonymous said... Ok I must vent... we waste a perfectly good movie prop in hopes of making your blog, and it doesn't make your blog. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!Love, you know who.
July 9, 2008 11:54 PM

After I finally posted posted about it, I kept receiving anonymous harassment in the form of comments. Read through the comments to see them.
Are you done? Have you read them? Okay, I know you didn't, so here they are:
(And I've highlighted the culprit who threw me off with her comments of sympathy)

17 comments:

super lotto said... What a great moment of reading blogs.
July 10, 2008 12:05 PM

tim & brandi said... I was sitting here trying to figure out why your husbands car was on the lawn. I didn't think you guys were THAT ghetto. ;) Yeah, I'm retarded. ~b
July 10, 2008 2:15 PM

Omgirl said... Oh my gosh...the blog lives! Well, I know you had a moment of thinking it might have been us who did that, but I assure you, I have the worst poker face ever. I can never carry off pranks because I smile the second someone looks at me. But it was a good one! Where does Horton reside now?
July 10, 2008 7:50 PM

Kacy said... Okay that is hilarious! I saw that sitting on the side of your house one day and was like what the crap? Super funny!
July 10, 2008 11:27 PM

Chelle said... Lol, too funny!Happy POW!
July 11, 2008 1:05 PM

Carol said... Well that doesn't happen everyday!Hilarious.
July 12, 2008 9:41 AM

Cheeseboy said... I want one! I guess I need more enemies.
July 12, 2008 10:34 PM

The Tillotsons said... How are Emma's babies doing? That prank is hilarious!!
July 17, 2008 4:59 PM

Dr Seuss said...
Horton poster... FREE
Movie & Popcorn... $25
Framing D. Johnson for a prank... PRICELESS
Bwahahahahahah
July 21, 2008 10:38 PM

CaraDee said... WHO DID THIS????
July 22, 2008 10:51 AM

Dave & Amber said... Haha that is awesome! Seriously it wasn't Dave. I'd know cuz he can't keep a secret. Now I'm curious as to who really did this.
July 22, 2008 1:41 PM

emilymomto3boys said... DUDE! That is so funny! So where are you taking Horton now?? August 2, 2008 9:28 PM

Thing 1 & Thing 2 said...
Who left Horton? Who could it be?
Of course I know, because it was me!
Or should I say that it was us,
Why oh why now all the fuss?
Fear not though for another clue
Will soon be delivered to you.
It sure is puzzling though is it not,
Because the prankster is not who you thought.
August 5, 2008 2:28 PM

CaraDee said... I am gonna put a bounty on your heads.
Wanted Dead: Super Brats
Reward: $5.00
August 5, 2008 2:56 PM

Thing 1 and Thing 2 said...
A bounty offered of dollars FIVE?
Not enough, I guess we stay ALIVE.
Check your mail in a day or two
And you will have instructions on what to do.
This has been just so much fun!
Have a good day, love thing two and thing one.
August 6, 2008 11:41 AM

Kacy said... This is hilarious. I would be going nuts.
August 7, 2008 5:34 PM

D. Seuss said...
Tonight we went out on a walk
And on that walk we saw your block
We went here and there and everywhere
Horton has some pictures he'd love to share.
In other words... BLOG UPDATED. GO READ IT NOW!!!!!!!
Oh... and please enjoy our pictures.
August 8, 2008 11:13 PM


Wow huh?? Someone I know is a superfreak! So here's how it went down.....
After the comment about the mail, I received a large envelope. It was return addressed from the Johnsons, who had been framed originally for Horton.

Upon opening it, a puzzle and paper came out.

With a poem...

Almost done...

Finished!

And on the back, a clue...Let's go there shall we??


This was the first post....CLICK HERE. With the help of a couple of neighbors, we deduced the culprit. When I saw her that night at a ward pool party, she was acting weird, but wouldn't admit it. What could I do??? So I got home about 10pm, and saw that there was a new comment (the last one above). When I checked the blog they created, I found this CLICK HERE.

So those are pictures of them taken in front of houses all around us, including our house, the Johnsons, and various others in our ward. FREAKS. We almost thought it wasn't who we suspected, since we had seen them swimming while we were. Anyway, with a little bit of comparing pictures from her blog and some detective work from Amber, who found this picture on her husband's myspace page, which had this picture on it,



we knew the nerds had to be..... THE DANG PLOTTS!!!!

Now please take a moment to congratulate them on having too much time on their hands. Way to go...

Have You Been Vaccinated?

Cameron came in and asked me if he could pretend that Eamon had the chicken pox and he was the doctor. I said, "Sure".

This is what came downstairs a few minutes later. DANG

Flashback Friday

(Look, this isn't going to be an ongoing thing. I can barely keep up with life right now.)

So I remembered something funny Brandon made for me years and years ago, while we were dating and went looking for it. I couldn't find it yet, but I did find these gems.... (you can click on each picture to see it larger if needed.)

I had to write this short bio as a new employee when I worked with Brandon at Mrs. Fields. Carolyn and Glorianna were my managers.


Remember this? Well, here's an earlier B doing the same thing on a lunch break with me.


Oh joy, here's our wedding announcement...

This special card was my Mother's Day card from Brandon a few years ago. Care to translate?
I especially loved the heartfelt note at the bottom....

And on my birthday probably 4 years ago, I got home from work that night to find a couple birthday cards on the stove for me. One from a neighbor, one from my Mom, and this mysterious envelope from Jamaica...It looked like Brandon's Mom's handwriting, and she had been to Jamaica years earlier. What a mystery.

Here is the ugly cardfront Here is the fabulous inside. I died laughing....

That's when Jude Law was my "boyfriend". I have had so many through the years. Oh I love Brandon. The back of the card had a little thingy at the bottom that said, "I'll never forget our first night"