Wednesday, May 27, 2009


The mystery that is Eamon is solved. Apparently, his true mother is my Sister Mary.

Now if only we knew who his father* was...*not that any of the other men pictured above are in the running besides Brandon

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How To Tell It's Time to Buy Your Husband New Deoderant

When you catch him using yours. It's an ongoing problem.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Years Since Our First Date = 10

May 8th is our First Date Anniversary. Let me regale you with the tale.

When I was 19, I worked at the Gap. One fine day in May, I was working in the dressing room. Brandon stopped in after work to pick up some khakis. They were very popular that year. He was in the dressing room and decided he wanted to come talk to me, so he walked up and said, "How much will these pants shrink?"

"Why, 1/4 to 1/2 inch," was my standard reply. Somehow we kept talking and talking and talking. I chalk up this jovial mood of mine to it being 15 minutes from quittin' time. He followed me around while I put clothes away and everything. Finally, 7pm hit and I asked him for his phone number so I could go home. A couple days later, when he had given up hope of me ever calling, I did. When I called, I was in a dressing room of my own, telling him I'd call him later that evening. Later that evening, he was IN THE BATH at his Grandma's house. Little did I know how this would affect our lives. Anyhoo...We made plans to go out that weekend.

He came and picked me up at my Dad's apartment. He thought, given the state of mess there, that I was white trash. I'm sure my skanky outfit didn't help. Silly B. As we drove to our destination (a rave), I asked him what kind of music he liked.
"Techno," was his response.
"Oh, anything else?"
"Pretty much techno," he said. ha. And it was that annoying techno that is really repetitive and obnoxious...

So we were at the rave dancing and he goes off somewhere. He comes back, opens his hand and has 2 pills in his hand. "You want one?" he generously asks. "Um, no thanks." So then later on, about 4 am, we head over to Dee's Restaurant (like a Denny's) for some post-rave food. There was a bloody man on an ambulance gurney in the lobby. We pressed on. Our favorite trans-gendered host(ess) Robin sat us. Then Brandon announces, "Oh, I spent all my money on those pills." So I had to pay for my own toast or whatever I got. (This is sounding very sadddddd.) After the food, he took me up to the hill above the Capitol Building to enjoy the view. After some talking, we were sitting there a little awkwardly and I moved in my seat. Oooops, I made a small toot. After a pause (cause I'm sure he heard it) I quietly said, "Excuse me..." "Why?" (he hadn't heard) "Um, I farted a little." (And this is the reason I tell him to get off my case now, because he had full disclosure as to what I'm all about that day) It was embarrassing. Somehow, SOMEHOW, we segued back into the date and started kissing. I knew he was a really great guy because of his kisses. Hard to elaborate. I could just tell.

After a little making out, I had to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD. We raced towards home...but made a quick stop at the Harmon's nearby. We both RAN to our respective bathrooms. It was hilarious. Anyway, it sounds wierd and dumb and illegal and gross, but our first date was memorable. And it fits us.

The first anniversary, we went back. There was the dead body of someone who had been hit by a car half a block away. But Robin was there. The next time we went, Brandon's chicken was undercooked. Gross. We haven't made it every year, but this year was special. I told him we were spending the evening with the kids at Ange's house. We got halfway there and I told him I needed a Slurpee. Ange secretly met me there and took the boys. I said, "Did you like my super devious planning?" He said he didn't understand why it was all super secret to have her babysit. Aha! He still didn't remember what the day was. So I put some techno on his iPhone and then he figured it out. There was no undercooked food, and no blood and gore.
No drugs, no skanky outfits and no Robin :(. But there was a baby girl, and it was great.

I don't know if you would go out with me again, but you know I would go out with you.
Happy 1st Date Anniversary Babyheart! I love you.