We Didn't Start the Fire (Eamon did)

So I was on the phone talking to some lady about getting an insurance quote, and I could see Eamon in the kitchen. He's up on the counter and I tell him to get off. Next thing I know, he has a napkin, still standing on the counter (in his underwear, so you can picture the mischievous guy). I tell him to get off the counter. I look down for a second at my desk, look over, and there are small flames on top of the stove. I had my beautiful candle burning there, and Eamon took the napkin and started it on fire. I swore (with the nice lady on the phone) and ran over. Wasn't a huge deal, cause it was just a napkin, but it's ablaze. I threw a dish towel on it to smother it, everything's fine. The lady's like, "Is everything okay?" "Yeah, my 3 year old just started a fire. Could you please insure my home...?" Laughter ensues. Hopefully I haven't been flagged by this company as a DO NOT ACCEPT candidate.

Now, even though it's late, and no one will read this till tomorrow, this is NOT a prank. It's fo realz. Here's the proof, a scorched napkin in the trash. Boy do those sooty embers get all over. They're like feathers.

And this is only half an hour after he peed his pants in the bathroom and pours out all my cheapy bubble bath in the empty tub. (He thought he would luxuriate in the bath)

But I did save a bunch of money on my car insurance....